Damaged Package by S.A. McAuley

Author:S.A. McAuley [McAuley, S.A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: erotic romance, action, bike messenger, Detroit, glbt, SWAT, mm romance, cops, mystery, gay
Publisher: S.A. McAuley
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Deacon finally remembered how to breathe when Trav returned his calls at ten the next night.

He answered his phone with, “I was afraid you weren’t going to call me back,” instead of a hello and on the other end of the line there was the heavy weight of a dead pause.

Deacon held his breath.

Trav sighed. “I almost didn’t.”

Deacon’s gut clenched and he opened his mouth to speak, to beg really, but Trav continued before he had a chance to reply. “I want to know everything. I don’t want to be in the dark. If we’re going to date, or whatever this is, then I need to know we’re equals. I won’t accept any less than that.”

Deacon thumped his head against his couch. How were they possibly going to get past this?

“I can’t tell you everything, Trav. Not yet. And it’s not because I don’t think you’re capable of handling yourself or making your own decisions. You’re much wiser and way more mature than I will ever be, if we’re going to be honest. But I’ve lost things in my life—people—that I should have been able to protect. I can’t… No. I won’t let that happen to you. And that’s something I should have been more up front about. My fear drives me some days and I definitely fight with it with just about everything to do with you. But not in a bad way.” Deacon scrunched his eyes closed and shook his head trying to clear it. “I’m not explaining this right. I’m asking you to give me some more time here, I guess. This is my job-the one thing I know better than anything else in this world. This investigation is complicated. And, frankly, we’re not equals because you have me wrapped around your finger and I never could have anticipated that. But this is one thing I can’t budge on right now… Look, can I just come over? I can’t do this when I can’t see how you’re reacting.”

Trav sighed. Again. “Okay. But I don’t want to talk anymore. It’s been a long day. No sex.”

It was Deacon’s first instinct to make a joke but instead he answered with his new default setting: Trav level honesty. “I don’t care about sex right now. I just need to see you.”

“I’m going to crash. But I’ll leave the door open for you.”

Deacon hung up the phone and grabbed his work bag. The ride over to Trav’s house was only a few blocks, but Deacon couldn’t get there fast enough. He could feel Trav slipping away, and it scared him in a way he hadn’t been afraid of in a really long time. Trav was the first man he had met that he hadn’t relegated to a one night stand or fuck buddy status. There was something in his ease and quiet confidence that kept Deacon off the precarious ledge he’d lived on for more than twenty years now. He wanted to be strong for Trav, to be better. For the first time in a long time, he cared about what other people saw when they looked at him.

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