Celebrity Diss and Tell by Boze Hadleigh

Celebrity Diss and Tell by Boze Hadleigh

Author:Boze Hadleigh
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0-7407-5473-4
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC
Published: 2005-08-15T00:00:00+00:00


Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a condom full of walnuts.

—Author CLIVE JAMES

A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck.

—Author TOM SHALES, on Robin Williams

She’s not an actress. I wouldn’t think she’d do street theater in Poland, would you? Do you think [Liz] Hurley really loves her craft? A lot of people I’ve met just want to be famous, and they don’t care how they do it or what they do.

—SAMANTHA MORTON (“In America”)

Val Kilmer loves the public eye, but not discipline on the set. Nowadays it’s more about putting your face on the screen than putting your art or best effort into your work.

—Director JOHN FRANKENHEIMER (The Manchurian Candidate)

I’d let my wife, children, and animals starve before I’d subject myself to working with her again.

—Director DON SIEGEL (Dirty Harry), on Bette Midler

They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.

—TV host (Politically Incorrect) BILL MAHER

He’s the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.

—Blonde bombshell MAMIE VAN DOREN, on then-bachelor Warren Beatty

It’s today’s ideal couple. Demi Moore’s in love with Ashton Kutcher and so is he, and their true love—both of them—is all the attention and career opportunities their twoness gives them.

—ALAN KING

Vin Diesel is said to shave his head so we’ll have to guess what race he is and he won’t be “typecast” in white roles. . . . I know I’m still guessing: Is he or isn’t he in the human race?

—REX REED

It sounds strange, but it’s a practical name. If he wasn’t “Boy George,” you might assume he was an overpainted lady in a hat and caftan.

—Rolling Stone KEITH RICHARDS

Somebody should clip Sting around the head and tell him to stop using that ridiculous Jamaican accent.

—ELVIS COSTELLO

So Madonna is into Kabbalah. Fine. But what about that [English] accent that comes and goes? She must believe she’s a reincarnation of [Prime Minister] Disraeli.

—HUGH GRANT

Poor little man, they made him out of lemon Jell-O, and there he is. He’s honest and hardworking, but he’s not great.

—Veteran Hollywood writer ADELA ROGERS ST. JOHN, on Robert Redford

As easy as it would be for me to nail a custard pie to the wall.

—SHIRLEY MACLAINE, when asked how easily she could deal with having Madonna for a sister-in-law (The singer was dating co-star Warren Beatty while filming Dick Tracy.)

He couldn’t ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.

—JOHNNY CARSON, on talk-show host (very briefly) Chevy Chase

Sarah Brightman couldn’t act scared on the New York subway at four o’clock in the morning.

—JOEL SEGAL

I’m less fearful now. . . . There’s nothing I wouldn’t say to Richard Gere’s face—both of them.

—DEBRA WINGER, on her Officer and a Gentleman co-star

Ewan McGregor has flashed his pole on screen more often than anyone since Richard Gere. Being a modern young European, he brags about it, and says his father brags about him too. Ewan, for gosh’s sakes, put it



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