Bootleg by Damon Wayans; David Asbery

Author:Damon Wayans; David Asbery
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9780062030085
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 1999-08-15T22:00:00+00:00

Suddenly, he turned into a little janitor. He got a big set of keys, a broom in his hand, and a squeegee in his back pocket.

Michael: (singing) Clean and shine, clean and shine.

My Son Is a Nerd

My two sons go to private school. It’s a good one, the kind where if you lose your wallet, they return it with a note and a dollar that says, “Hope you weren’t inconvenienced.” The only drawback about private school is that my son, Damon, is a little nerd. My son will walk into my living room when I have my friends over. “Morning, Dad, can I borrow your computer? I want to do some extra-credit homework.”

“Yo, slow that up, son. I got company. Put your hands in your pockets and be cool.”

“Never mind, Dad, I’ll just work it out in my head!”

That’s my boy! I don’t mind. I’d rather he be a nerd that becomes a doctor than some cool mother-fucka in jail. I’ll have to go visit his cool ass on death row.

“Hi, I’m here to see Ice Wayans.”

“Yeah, Ice … Sorry, it’s too late,” the guard would say.

“That’s terrible! But was he cool?”

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