Who I Used to Be by Alexa Land

Author:Alexa Land [Land, Alexa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2016-08-23T00:00:00+00:00

*****

When we got upstairs, the cat hissed at me, jumped off the couch, and hid under it. “Chaplin still hates me,” I said. “He’s not going to like it when you inform him of your master plan to move me in here with you.”

“When you put it that way, it sounds a bit nefarious. Kind of like I’m going to implement my plan for moving you in right after I unleash my plot for world domination.”

I put my arms around him and gently pushed him against the closed front door. “I think it’s sweet that you’ve been thinking about us living together.”

“I know it sounds like such a contradiction when I’ve also been saying all along that we need to take it slowly, but this has felt like our apartment for a long time. I don’t know when that shift in perception happened exactly, but it did. I think in terms of ‘us’ now, not just ‘me’, and I have to say, it feels pretty great.”

I kissed him and nuzzled his cheek before saying, “It’s not a contradiction. You and I are both looking to the future, but we’re not sprinting to get there. I’ve enjoyed this slow pace. It’s given us plenty of time to get to know each other, and it’s let me focus on my recovery, which you have to admit is going well.”

“It’s going great. I’m so proud of you.”

“We’ve been very good, and very patient, but I need you to know something, TJ.”

“What’s that?”

I leaned against him and looked in his eyes. “If you don’t fuck me soon, I’m going to go out of my ever-loving mind.”

He laughed self-consciously and mumbled, “Oh. Yeah. That.”

“Yeah. That.” I punctuated my words with a kiss on his neck. “We’ve been saints.” I pulled aside the collar of his dark green henley and kissed his collarbone. “No one could accuse us of rushing this. While I’ve certainly enjoyed our little interludes, we have to take that next step. I can’t wait any longer.” I kissed his shoulder, then nipped him gently, and his breath caught. Over the past month, we’d jerked each other off a few times, but we’d never taken it further.

“Are you sure? It’s a huge step.” He sounded nervous.

I leaned back a little to look at him again. “Don’t you want to?”

“I do. God, I do. But….”

“What?”

He broke eye contact and said softly, “It’s been a while for me. A long while. Not only am I out of practice, I’m also…you know.”

“What?”

“Well, I’m not exactly an Andrew Christian model. I’m just this guy over forty with an average body, and I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Disappointed! I think you’re absolutely beautiful, TJ. Don’t you know that?”

“I’m glad you think I’m kind of cute, but—”

“No, not kind of cute. Beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person in all the world to me,” I said as I cupped his face in my hands.

“You could do so much better,” he said. “I don’t have a clue why you’d settle for…this.

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