Tied in Knots: A Tied Together Novella by Z.B. Heller

Author:Z.B. Heller [Heller, Z.B.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-02-04T05:00:00+00:00

8

Brandon

I stood at the window of my office, facing the busy streets of Chicago. Bright street lights shone down on the people who hustled along the sidewalks, and horns blared from cars fighting their way through city gridlock. I spotted a man trying to hail a cab, and I was instantly jealous of him. Was he on his way home to his family? Did his wife, girlfriend, or lover have a hot meal waiting for him on the table?

I realized I was the only person to blame for what I was doing to myself. I was immersing myself in work because I didn’t want to deal with the issue of my mother and her plea to see me. I wanted to go home and explain it all to Ryan, but I was worried about what he’d say and how he’d react. I didn’t have a picture-perfect childhood like he did, and I questioned if he would understand the push and pull of feelings that I had.

I sat at my desk and pulled up the contacts on my phone. It had been a year since I’d seen my old therapist, Dr. Fredricks. He and I went all the way back to when I was I was a premed student; he’d been essential in my support system when I finally decided to come out. Over the years, we had always remained in contact and he would happily see me whenever I needed. He referred to it as getting a tune up. Last year I saw him after I had a few stressful months at work dealing with the departure of the doctor with whom I had shared my practice. I found the number I was looking for a hit the dial key.

“This is Dr. Fredricks,” he answered, his smooth baritone voice filling my ear. The sound was calming, reminding me of the years he had been there for me, even during my darkest times of having to relive my father’s abuse.

“Hey, doc, it’s Brandon.”

“Well, if it isn’t the very busy obstetrician. You don’t write. You don’t call.” I could hear the smile behind his teasing.

“Maybe that’s because every time I call, it costs me money,” I teased back.

“That you’d have to pick up with your insurance company. It’s good to hear from you, Brandon. What’s new? How’s that husband and beautiful son of yours?”

“They’re great. Ethan is growing like a weed. Before I know it, he’ll be six feet, married, and have kids of his own.”

Dr. Fredricks laughed. “It does go fast—no question there. And how’s Ryan?”

“Ryan is fantastic. He’s an amazing father.” I paused, letting the guilt of my and Ryan’s problems sink in. Even though Dr. Fredricks had been with me a long time, it never got easier when he saw cracks in the armor I tried so hard to build.

“It doesn’t take my doctor degree to tell me there’s a but in there somewhere.”

“Can’t I just be calling you to shoot the shit?” I asked.

“You could, and I would be thrilled.

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