In His Secret Life by Mel Bossa

Author:Mel Bossa [Bossa, Mel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781602829145
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2013-05-13T12:00:00+00:00

*

“She’s okay?” Dayton pointed at my sister, who was seated by Ingrid, looking over pictures. We sat around in the living room. Davinder and his family had yet to show up.

After our secret talk, Elsie had a little meltdown, but blamed it on hormones, lack of sleep, and the insanity of the holidays. “She’s fine.” I looked at my watch again.

Around me, conversations flowed, but I couldn’t focus enough to join in. Dali and Brendan had brought their new puppy and I played with it as he chewed on my shoes.

“Don’t let him do that,” Brendan said, scooping the dog up. It was a Jack Russell. “Dali, I think he needs to go out again.”

“It’s your turn.” Dali smiled and raised his glass. “Bundle up, babe, it’s cold.”

Ingrid jumped out of her chair. “They’re here.”

When I heard the boys’ voices, I rose and turned around. “Hey, guys,” I said, walking to the entrance. Everyone had gathered around Eileen and Davinder. Hugs and kisses were being exchanged. I was lost in the swell of their excitement.

“Merry Christmas,” Eileen said, hugging me. “So glad you’re here.”

I mumbled appropriate words, shaking her hand. I said a few insignificant things to Noah and Jude, and finally held out my hand to Davinder. “Hi, how are you?”

“Nice to see you,” he said, shaking my hand, his voice and manner under perfect control. He looked away from me and greeted Dali.

I felt sick.

I hung around the living room for a few minutes, but my stomach lurched and I couldn’t trust myself anymore. Discreetly, I went to the bathroom and shut myself in. He could be so cold. He could be so distant. I’d been torturing myself all day, and here he was, Mr. Ice Man, completely unaffected. I’d have taken anything. Anything to let me know he’d thought of me in the last days.

Outside the door, I heard his voice—he was laughing with his brothers, talking as if I wasn’t in this stupid bathroom.

As if I didn’t exist.

I looked at my face in the mirror and remembered the day I’d stood here, more than a year ago. “Don’t be an idiot,” I’d told myself that day. I wished I could go back and change the course of my life.

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