Glitterland (Spires Book 1) by Alexis Hall

Author:Alexis Hall [Hall, Alexis]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Published: 2013-08-23T18:30:00+00:00

I stood up, turned, and walked away, the lights blurring to smears in my eyes and Niall’s castigations stinging my skin as though I’d carved them myself. Again. By the time I’d stepped outside, I was running into the night.

Because that’s absolutely the way to prove your sanity.

I heard a voice calling my name, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t seem to breathe enough air.

And I felt paper-thin and utterly unreal. Shredded. All I wanted to do was put a barrier of distance between me and everything that had just happened.

If only I could also outrun myself.

Maybe it would not be so terrible, to disappear entirely, to drift away in fragments beneath the moon, like pieces of torn of lace.

To cease to be.

That was something I could never make Niall understand, though I don’t know how hard I’d tried. I had never wanted death, merely cessation; unfortunately, sometimes, they seemed to be the same thing.

Niall had done nothing but tell the truth, though he had wielded it like a weapon. But it was hard to forgive him for it.

And Darian? Oh, I couldn’t bear to think about Darian.

I had never felt quite so ugly, helpless, or naked. But it had been my own fault, for trying to pretend I was otherwise.

Was it cold? I thought it might be cold. It was certainly dark. But these considerations beat against me like my body was a window pane. I was visible, but unreachable. A prisoner of myself.

Where was I?

I had slowed to walking. A road ran by (though not to Camelot). Fields lay on either side.

Oh, fuck.

Lunatic Writer Lost in Essex.

Maybe I was going to be murdered. Torn apart by wolves. Maybe I’d starve to death under a hedgerow. What did a hedgerow even look like?

Okay. These were not rational thoughts. That, at least, I recognised.

The important thing was not to panic.

Like a shark scenting blood in the water, anxiety rushed over me in a great, devouring wave.

No, really, Ash, don’t panic.

I fumbled for my phone.

Of course. Of course. I’d left it with my four-thousand-pound suit.

So I had a panic attack. A full-on heart-pounding, breath-choking, sweat-pouring, absolutely mortifying panic attack that sent me sobbing and shuddering to my knees in the middle of nowhere.

Minutes, hours, years, eternities later, I put myself back together. Still alive.

Somehow.

Still breathing and still alive.

I had two choices: I could go back, or I could go on. Going back was simply not an option. And didn’t they say all roads lead somewhere?

(Was this madness?)

I kept walking and, sure enough, in about five minutes I came to a roundabout and a sign pointing the way to Chigwell Station. Another five minutes, and the red circle with the blue line loomed out of the darkness like the word of God. I would never have imagined the Underground sign could have been such a wonderful sight.

I traced a route on the Tube map. Central line to Woodford. Central line to Bank.

That was. That was easy.

For a brief, fleeting, blissful moment, I felt in control of my world.

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