Death, Unwinding by Sarah Bailey

Author:Sarah Bailey [Bailey, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Twisted Tree Publications
Published: 2023-08-03T16:00:00+00:00

Fourteen

CIARAN

I stared at Marlie like she’d lost the fucking plot because I was pretty sure she had. Why was I even surprised when this woman constantly came out with things I wasn’t expecting? She was an enigma, but one that intrigued me far more than it should have.

“Ye like me? The fuck is that supposed tae mean?”

She frowned.

“It means I like you as in like you.” Waving a hand, she cocked her head to the side. “Do I need to explain what it means when one person finds another person interesting and wants to be around them?”

“Nae, ye dinnae need tae explain that shite tae me.”

“You’re the one who asked.”

I rubbed my face and tried my best not to lose my ever-loving fucking mind over her mouth and the things that came out of it. Marlie didn’t retain a filter around me. It shouldn’t be as endearing as it was, but I would never admit it to her.

“And ye just told the man who killed ye that ye like him.”

She nodded slowly.

“I did.”

“Ye dinnae see the issue with that?”

Marlie bit her lip.

“I suppose it’s a little concerning, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Am I not allowed to like you?”

I didn’t know how to answer that. In fact, I didn’t know what the fuck to do with anything Marlie said. She asked me to kill her all over again despite being a ghost and knowing I couldn’t touch her. While I could feel Marlie’s presence, she didn’t exist in a corporeal form. There was no possible way for me to do what she asked, even if I thought it was a good idea, which it most certainly wasn’t.

“Ye’re allowed tae feel whatever way ye feel. Am no stopping ye.”

“Then what is the problem? I’m giving you what you want.”

“Ye shouldnae want tae die.”

She threw her head back and laughed.

“I’m already fucking dead. It doesn’t change anything if you kill my ghost. Then I’ll really be gone, and you can go on with your life just like you wanted.”

There was hurt in her voice mixed in with determination. I knew killing her to make my life easier wasn’t rational. That she should hate me, but I didn’t feel that from her. She was resigned to what happened and why. She understood. And that was the most screwed up part.

“Ye shouldnae dae that for me.”

“Not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me.”

I let out a breath. If this was what she wanted, then shouldn’t I do that for her? Didn’t I owe her this?

Yeah, you kind of do.

“Give me a minute.”

I paced away from her, wanting to get my head on straight. Marlie made me a wee bit unhinged. To calm myself, I went over to the patio table and gathered up the drawings. I placed them back in the sketchbook with extra care. They were my favourite drawings I’d done of her. There were more back at my Edinburgh flat. A year’s worth of pictures of my obsession.

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