Bloodbath by S. F. Rae

Author:S. F. Rae [S. F. Rae]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sunset Wren Press
Published: 2023-03-13T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty Two

One drink quickly becomes two, which turns into three, then a fourth follows shortly after. I know I’m spiralling out of control, but I have nothing to stop me. No Maria to pull me back from the edge. I’d always strived to be the best version of myself for her. Now I just want to drink myself into oblivion and join her. I mean, what do I even have left any more? Bupkis. Squat. Fucking nothing. I’m just a broken man, with no future. The career which once filled me with pride now suffocates me. The weight of the entire precinct rests on my shoulders because no one else cares any more. Corruption is rampant. Why should I continue to give a fuck? No one else does. For every bad guy I manage to put away, three more spawn like some impossible game. There’s no way of winning. No way of making a real difference. Even if you can get the slippery fuckers into prison, they’ll always be let out early for some bullshit reason, only to start all over again.

The one thing, the one bit of goodness in my life is gone. There was a time I thought things could be different. That with enough pestering and begging, finally the beautiful soul who touched so many lives might allow me to be the lucky one. The one who’d wake up next to her, and worship her like she deserves. To make her feel loved, supported, and fill her days with as much happiness as possible.

There were times, moments when we shared a joke, when the chemistry between us got too much, moments where she’d let me glimpse a reality where I’d start my day by her side. Where I’d be on my way home from a long day knowing my usually cold, empty house would feel homely and warm because I finally had an amazing woman to share it with. Even now she’s my best friend, her happiness the most important thing to me. I’d act the fool, just to see her smile.

Was, Jason. Was. She was your best friend.

Another wave of sorrow crashes over me, and my heart breaks all over again. Maria is the love of my life, the other half of my soul, and now she’s gone. No, not gone, taken. Taken, and what am I doing? Nothing. I’m getting nowhere, just chasing my tail. All my years on the force and the one case I want to solve more than anything seems impossible. She’d be ashamed of me. What type of man can’t avenge the woman he loves?

I raise my arm, flagging the bartender down for another drink. I swear to myself it will be my last, but I’m pretty sure I said that after the one before. Hopefully the next one will be the one to ease my pain. To give me a blissful peaceful moment where I can just forget. Where I can float in a world in which my heart is whole, my love alive.

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