Yoshiwara by Kaan Eve

Author:Kaan, Eve [Kaan, Eve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-07-29T16:00:00+00:00

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Rin

I only need Uta here right now, close to me. I just want her embranchment to release every drop of repressed tears from my eyes. Trying to soothe me, she said, 'It's true that greed doesn't know the boundaries when gold is in question, but that is not your fault, they were raised the wrong way.' Her comfort words mean a lot to me. 'I would give this sumptuous way of life in a heartbeat if I could go back to poverty with my grandmother, as I once lived.' Maybe questioning her intentions was only my judgmental mistake. I believed in intentions of all those other people, but I didn't trust her. 'In my house, talking of you is in the most delightful light. Everything is better since you came.' I placed my hand on hers - I need touches of solace.

I took her hand, but my head is still lowered. 'Yoshiwara is just one of the branches in the entertainment business my family has - it's not even considered a serious job, compared to everything else in our possession...' I'm trembling now. '... I chose Yoshiwara because I thought I could change the lives of abandoned children by giving them a life they could only dream of...' She placed her fingers under my chin carefully lifting my head gently. Her eyes caught my red ones and filled with tears. '... I don't need Yoshiwara for gold. I have been raised to believe that every being must have a responsibility in the means of work.' I feel weak - barely could speak. 'Yoshiwara was supposed to be my contribution to this world - they have taught me that a person who is unengaged with having a purpose isn't useful.' I started to lower my head, but she tried not to allow me to fell in even deeper despair. She stared into my eyes, reassuringly squeezing my hand in order to show me her understanding.

'Ever since you came to Yoshiwara – I couldn't be happier.' I was instantly caught up in Uta's words. 'I dreamed of leaving...' She stopped, leaving the thought unfinished. My body slowly leaned in, to hug her while she holds me protectively as if she is moving the whole world away from our moment. How can she have such an effect on me? The tears have struck the dam, Uta is all I need in life, and I almost gave up on her. With closed eyes I gently pressed my cheek behind her ear, breathing her relaxing scent. I silently sobbed.

'I should have stayed in Europe.' My weakness in body and voice became evident. She embraced me as tight as she could, pulling me carefully towards herself. 'This job is just voluntary work for me.' Unconsciously I'm descending down along her neck breathing deeply over trembling. I closed my eyes and spoke softly, almost in a whisper, 'I don't need this.' I'm no longer sure whose shivers are between us. 'I almost abandoned myself.'

'I fantasized...' she repeated softly, our bodies squeezed in one shape.

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