Wild and Crooked by Leah Thomas

Author:Leah Thomas
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781547600014
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2019-07-18T16:00:00+00:00

GUS

BLACK-PEPPER CLOUDS GIVE way to a green-skied evening. The whole way back to Samsboro, Kalyn and I wait for a different storm to break.

The Death Van tailgates us from an unsafe distance. Phil got over yesterday so fast. After everything, where we stand now isn’t any different than where we’ve always stood.

Pot is overrated. Hours later I’m too sober, with an aching head and a burning throat to show for it. Onion rings churn in my stomach.

Maybe Kalyn wants to escape Phil’s driving. But maybe she wants to be near me.

I don’t want to give up yet. There aren’t many things worth keeping in the world. Maybe Kalyn and me, our friendship, isn’t worth keeping, either. But almost every aspect of our lives has been decided for us. Trying to make this work is our decision.

“Gus, you’re officially the best driver I know.”

I jump. I thought Kalyn was sleeping. “Um. Thanks.”

A minute passes.

“Phil and my mom drive like action villains.”

My laugh sounds more like a long wheeze. I almost swerve into another lane.

“I take it back, I take it back! You suck, too!”

“The Matrix. That’s what Phil says. He says you’re like, um, the girl . . .”

“Trinity? Ha. I don’t wear leather. Sci-fi’s more my dad’s thing. Only, he doesn’t get to watch new movies in prison. I watch them and tell him about them.”

“Oh.” I wipe my eyes, letting my knee guide us. “So. What’s his favorite movie?”

“Gus, you don’t want to ask me about my dad. Stop being so damn nice.”

“I’m not being . . . it’s not nice.”

“Then what the hell would you call it?”

“I have to think, I mean, I always thought . . .” Uncertain as I am, I’m not programmed to absorb a reality where Gary Spence didn’t kill my dad.

The idea that Kalyn was raised in a totally different reality makes my heart shrink. And it bothers me, it really does, that Kalyn stands by her dad either way.

“I’m just . . . ​trying to figure it out. How you love him so much even though you think, you believed, the same thing I believe.”

She sighs. “The murder thing has just . . . ​always been there. I’ve known what Dad did. But to me he’s not a murderer. He’s my dad, who also murdered someone.”

“And that makes him okay?”

“Hell no. He’s not okay, locked up like a goddamn hamster. I’m not okay. And the way fucking Samsboro treats my grandma, my mom? That’s not okay. Strangers talk like it’s a sin for me to fucking exist—is that okay? The way your dad treated my dad, like shit on his shoe? Was that okay?”

“My dad didn’t treat people like—like shit! He was a good person.”

“Uh-huh. And how do you know that?”

“Everyone says so!”

“Everyone says so?” Her laugh is brittle. “Sorry, Gus, but you don’t know what kind of person your dad was. You know your dad less than I know mine.”

“People loved James Ellis.” I think of those eternal eyes. “Every single person I’ve ever met has told me he was good.

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