Who Are You? by R.T. Lund

Author:R.T. Lund
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little Creek Press

CHAPTER TWENTY

Deb picks me up at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport north of Houston at half past three. We’ll be back here tomorrow morning at six for the flight to Campeche via Mexico City. She and her husband, David, a security officer at Johnson Space Center, met on the track team at Illinois State, where he threw the shot put and javelin, and she was a distance runner. They moved from a tenth-floor condo to a three-bedroom Colonial with a pool on Copper Canyon Drive in Heritage Park when the baby was born. Their seemingly happy life in urban, middle-class America reminds me of my sister’s storybook existence in Saint Paul. Some might say I’m jealous, and maybe I should be, but I’m not. Like my dad, I want to have a positive impact on this world, despite, or perhaps because of, all the racist, self-centered cowards who create barriers for people like me. If I had a family, I would have to make compromises I’m not ready to make.

I’m not a thrill seeker, but I love adventure, especially outdoors amidst the elements, and I have a visceral drive to challenge myself, physically and intellectually. After enduring an abusive partner and bad marriage, I’m prepared to live alone indefinitely. I’ve been open to dating and vulnerable, on occasion, to short-term hookups for sex or, more accurately, the warmth and complete release of sharing my most personal space and longings with another human being.

The judge is different from anyone who’s been close to me—unanticipated but not unwanted. He’s smart and thoughtful and kind, and I’m physically, magnetically drawn to him. But he’s also a stalker and possibly a murderer. How could I be infatuated with such a man? He’s an enigma who’s thrown me off my game. My instincts tell me to confront him about the contents of his diary, his evasiveness, and his downright lies. But I’m afraid—not afraid of him but afraid to alienate him forever because I’m making incorrect assumptions with only partial evidence. And he hasn’t contacted me since I dropped him off at the airport. Why?

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