We're All Lying by Marie Still

Author:Marie Still [Still, Marie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rising Action Publishing Co.

Twenty-Three

Cass

Marni the marriage counselor, whose name I sang in my head now anytime I thought of her, had an office inside a converted bungalow in downtown St. Petersburg. The house creaked and groaned like a living creature. How many secrets and sins did those walls hold from listening to the couples who’d passed through its halls?

I perched on the edge of the sofa next to Ethan, though I’d have rather been in the office working on the project that was very much not coming along. On the one hand, I was excited to have another person tell Ethan how terrible he was. Because surely Marni would be on my side. How could she not be? Anyone, especially a woman, would be repulsed by him. However, the idea of airing our dirty laundry to a stranger was nauseating. She was someone else now aware of how unworthy I was of my husband’s affection. So unworthy he had been forced to seek comfort in Emma’s arms.

I was trying to hide my nerves but couldn’t stop fidgeting. The room was stuffed with so much junk, my gaze flitted around it. Taking a deep breath, I inhaled the woodsy smell of the pine floors mixed with jasmine. The smell should have put me at ease, but it only tied my stomach into more complicated knots.

Marni sat across from us with a leather folio sprawled open on her lap. She was saying something about communication and how the sessions would work, but I was only half-listening. A framed photo among the clutter on the walls caught my eye, a silhouette of a raven with the words Nevermore scrolled across the bottom. What an odd choice of wall décor for a therapist’s office. As a huge Poe fan myself, anywhere else I would have loved it. Here it felt out of place and made my mind wander to raven black hair and dead birds. I imagined the hair wrapping itself around my neck and suffocating me. Emma’s name echoed through my skull. I squeezed my hands between my legs so I wouldn’t cover my ears with them and forced myself to focus on the present, the room I was in, Marni, Ethan, and marriage counseling. Marni was still droning on. I had anticipated minimalistic, modern leather furniture, but Poe and ravens surrounded me. My confidence in her abilities was plummeting along with my stomach.

I forced myself to concentrate on us and not Emma. To help my cause, I shifted so I could face him and pictured life without him. The kids would be off to college soon. Then what? I’d float around an empty house, eating meals alone, sleep, work, rinse, and repeat. Every day until I died. Or worse, I’d have to date again. I imagined painful, awful, and awkward first dates, hoping to find some other woman’s leftovers who wasn’t more damaged than I was. Because let’s face it, at forty, the dating pool has evaporated to more of a puddle.

Everything about us—Ethan and me—fit together perfectly, including our bodies.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.