Wall of Silence by Dorey Whittaker

Author:Dorey Whittaker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Hope Returns, Dorey Whittaker, child abuse, forgive, forgiveness, emotional healing
Publisher: Torchflame Books
Published: 2014-09-18T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 20

Determined to get Susan out of the apartment building and away from her mother as soon as possible, the first order of business was to find a new place to live. Within a month they found a cute little three bedroom house and spent their first year of marriage remodeling and making it their own.

By their first anniversary, the house was finally finished, and Susan found herself getting anxious for Carol Anne to come home. It was now April, and Carol Anne would be back in June. She had applied to all the high schools in Atlanta and had received an offer from their old high school to teach history. Carol Anne was finally coming home for good, and Susan was getting anxious to show off her “new” old house.

A week or so later, Susan suspected she might be pregnant but didn’t want to say anything until she was sure. She scheduled a doctor’s appointment for the middle of May and carefully guarded her feelings. She didn’t want to get her hopes up too high in case it turned out to be a false alarm. When the doctor confirmed her suspicions, she went right to the office to tell Scott he was going to be a father. Everyone was so excited; Mr. and Mrs. Thomas were going to be grandparents, and Carol Anne was going to be an aunt. Even Lisa allowed herself to get excited, but one month later Susan lost the baby.

The loss was devastating to everyone, but Susan was inconsolable. She so wanted that baby. She found herself weeping all the time and didn’t have the energy to go anywhere. She did what she had always done when pain became too great for her: she crawled into bed and slept. This had been her escape as a child, and she was doing it again. It wasn’t a sleep of comfort but of escape.

Several times Caroline called and invited her to go shopping or out to lunch, but Susan always gave some excuse and turned her down. This went on for weeks, and Scott was getting worried. This was his first experience seeing Susan’s depression and withdrawal, and it scared him. Finally, when it had lasted more than a month, Scott went to talk with his mother. “I don’t know what to say to her. How do you help someone get over a loss like this? She’s hurting, and I want to grieve with her but she shuts me out. It’s like she doesn’t want me near her, and that really hurts. I’m trying to be patient, but I lost my baby too. Why won’t she let me hurt with her?”

He then allowed the tears he had been holding back for weeks to flow. He had been trying so hard to be strong for Susan he had not allowed his own loss to express itself.

Caroline sat there with her arm around her grieving son. For a few minutes they both gave themselves permission to cry together over the loss of this much-wanted baby.

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