Voodoo Hoodoo is Complete Doodoo by Anni Jayde

Author:Anni Jayde
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: cozy mysteries, cozy paranormal mysteries, witch cozy, witch, witches, wizards, warlocks
Publisher: Seize The Night Agency
Published: 2019-11-16T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty

I CALLED HEIDI JUST as she’d finished work for the day. “I have a spell that should keep ghosts out of your house,” I told her. “When would you like me to bring it around?”

“Now would be good,” she replied. “I can’t take another night with that creepy phantom standing over me and talking incessantly.”

I could hear the strain in her voice and knew she was at the breaking point. “I’ll be there in five minutes,” I promised and hung up.

“Gary isn’t going to like this,” Jess predicted just as the terrible trio arrived.

“What isn’t the pervert going to like?” Fran asked eagerly.

“Diva has a voodoo spell that will keep ghosts out of her client’s house,” Jess explained as we headed for my car.

“I’ve got to see this,” Maryanne said and floated into the back of my beat-up old vehicle.

“Me, too,” Reginald said and joined her.

“I’m not missing out on this drama,” Fran added and crammed herself inside as well.

“Life will never be boring with us around,” Jess said with a grin as we climbed inside. I placed the cardboard box on her seat and she grimaced. “Now I have voodoo cooties on me,” she complained.

“Voodoo cooties!” Maryanne said, then cackled. Her two friends laughed with her and I giggled as well. Jess was right, life was never boring with them to keep me entertained.

It was a short drive to Heidi’s modestly sized house. She was waiting for me on the front porch and she wasn’t alone. Naked and erect, Gary The Pervert stood next to her, whispering things into her ear. Her arms were crossed and she wore a distressed expression.

“Gary!” Fran barked as the spirits moved to surround him. “Leave that poor girl alone!”

“Why should I?” he whined. “Everyone else avoids me. I don’t get to talk to anyone anymore.”

“We avoid you because you’re a creepy miscreant,” Maryanne said.

“And because your junk is old and withered,” Reginald added, wrinkling his nose and pointing at the junk in question.

“It isn’t my fault I’m old!” Gary said belligerently, hands on his bony hips and wang waving to the world.

“It’s your fault that you’re creepy and annoying, though,” Jess said.

“Thank God you’re here,” Heidi said. She was nearly in tears. “I feel like I’m going out of my mind.”

“This spell will help,” I promised, hoping Haydn wasn’t pranking me. I hadn’t felt any magic coming from the pouches yet. They just felt like normal objects to me. I had no idea what was inside them and I didn’t really care.

“Come in,” she invited, opening the door. Boxes were stacked up along the hallway, waiting to be unpacked. “Sorry about the mess,” she said, clearly embarrassed about the state her house was in.

“That’s okay,” I said. “My place is a mess, too and I’ve lived there for three years.”

She cracked a smile, but her worry didn’t ease. All five phantoms had followed us inside. They trailed after us into the living room that was nearly devoid of furniture. “I still have a few things I need to buy,” Heidi said.

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