Uncle John’s Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader by Bathroom Readers’ Institute

Author:Bathroom Readers’ Institute [Bathroom Readers’ Institute]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781607109297
Publisher: Portable Press

• If Rita Hayworth married Derrial Book (character on Firefly), she’d be Rita Book.

• If Han Ji-min (South Korean actress) married Adrian Solo (Swiss singer), and Sue Grafton (American author) married Carlos Bacca (Colombian soccer player), they’d be Han Solo and Sue Bacca.

• If Liv Tyler married Colin Ng (Singaporean yachtsman), then divorced him and married Eddie Large (British comic), she’d be Liv Ng-Large.

• If Kim Jong Un married Gary Cole, then divorced him and married Elton John, he’d be Kim Jong Un-Cole-John.

***

THE GREAT GEORGE CARLIN SPEAKS HIS MIND

“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

“If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.”

“McDonald’s ‘breakfast for under a dollar’ actually costs much more than that. You have to factor in the cost of coronary bypass surgery.”

“Recently, in a public bathroom, I used the handicapped stall. As I emerged, a man in a wheelchair asked me indignantly, ‘Are you handicapped?’ Gathering all my aplomb, I looked him in the eye and said, ‘Not now. But I was before I went in there.’”

“There is something refreshingly ironic about people lying on the beach contracting skin cancer in an attempt to acquire a purely illusory appearance of good health, while germ-laden medical waste washes up on the sand all around them.”

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that s**t.”

Stool pigeons: A company called Avian Fashions makes diapers for pet birds.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.