Uncanny Kingdom: An Eleven Book Urban Fantasy Collection (Uncanny Kingdom Omnibus 1) by David Bussell & M.V. Stott

Author:David Bussell & M.V. Stott [Bussell, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Genre Reader
Published: 2017-12-25T22:00:00+00:00

16

Ribbons of pastel light streamed through the stained glass window of the church, settling in coloured pools on the cemetery.

There was no sense in running. Not anymore. The man inside that building was just going to keep coming at me, and for the sake of Mike and Fergal, I couldn’t let him stand in my way. I had to get the guy off my back, if only for a little while.

I strutted towards the old stone chapel, cracking my knuckles as I went. I could have phased right through the front door but I wanted to make an entrance, so instead I magicked it open and forced my way inside. The heavy oak door swung in and its croaking hinges echoed around the empty edifice.

Almost empty.

Celestial light emanated from the chapel’s confessional, leaking out from behind the booth’s maroon velvet curtain and casting an eerie glow upon the building’s dusty interior. I could see the place had fallen into ruin. Thick cobwebs hung on every surface, across chandeliers, across musty prayer books, across a ghoulish statue of Jesus nailed to a cross that stood upon the church altar like a pointed warning.

As I approached the confessional I saw a pair of legs sticking out from beneath the velvet curtain, suited in dazzling white. I entered the other side of the booth and took a seat opposite the wooden grille.

‘Forgive me Father, for I have sinned,’ I told the silhouette across from me. ‘Is that what you want to hear?’

‘I’m afraid it’s too late for a confession,’ said the angel on the other side.

‘How did you find me?’

‘It wasn’t hard. You’ve left quite a trail in your wake, Mister Fletcher.’

I suppose I had; getting into fisticuffs with vampires, chasing around after hanged kids and duffing up a bunch of undead OAPs. But then subtlety had never been my strong suit. ‘What do we do now then?’ I asked the man in white.

‘Now we go Upstairs,’ he replied.

‘You know, I could really do without this right now. Do you any idea what I'm up against here? What this city is up against? How about instead of getting in my way you help me?’

‘It is not my remit to help you, Fletcher. It is my job to bring you in.’

‘Of course it is,’ I sighed, ‘you’re a bureaucrat. A traffic warden.’

‘You have no idea what I am.’

‘Yeah, I do. I know your type, all mouth and no trousers. You act all that in your poncy clobber, but you haven’t got the bollocks for a proper dust up.’

‘If I were you I’d shut my mouth before my list of sins is appended to.’

‘Chalk ‘em up, you pillock. I don’t give a monkeys.’

‘Consider it done, Mister Fletcher.’

‘Good, and how about you go fuck yourself while you’re at it.’

‘One more of those and I’ll forget about taking you Upstairs for judgment and send you the other way myself.’

‘I’d like to see you try, mate.’

‘Gladly.’

‘Come on then!’ I shouted. ‘Let’s be ‘avin’ ya!’

He shot out of his side of the booth just as fast as I did mine.

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