Two Old Fools Down Under by Victoria Twead

Author:Victoria Twead [Twead, Victoria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ant Press
Published: 2019-11-30T22:00:00+00:00

Having lived so many years in Spain, I was aware that I had neglected routine medical procedures that I might have been encouraged to pursue had I been living in the UK. I received no reminders for bowel cancer tests or mammograms; neither did I ever have my blood routinely tested. Now, as an Australian permanent resident, all that would change.

I registered Joe and myself at the local Medical Centre and was delighted with my new doctor. Dr Sarah happened to be English, and she was one of those special people who listen to you as though you are the only person in the world. I immediately felt at ease, and I trusted all the advice she gave me. If she didn’t know the answer, she said so, and never made me feel I was wasting her time.

Joe’s doctor was South African, a man who didn’t make small talk and called a spade a spade. Joe liked him very much, so we were both happy.

Dr Sarah conducted a smear test, which pronounced me clear of cervical cancer. Dr Botha kept an eye on Joe’s high blood pressure and prescribed medication for that, and his COPD and prostate cancer.

I received a parcel in the mail. I ripped it open to find that it was a ‘self-administer’ bowel cancer test kit. I’d never heard of such a thing in Spain. I followed the instructions and found it a straightforward process, in spite of my horror at the thought of it. I labelled my specimen and sent it off in the envelope provided. In due course, I was thrilled to be told that no evidence of bowel cancer had been detected.

One day, I noticed a huge pink van parked in our local shopping centre car park, with the legend BreastScreen NSW painted in enormous letters on the side. Book your free mammogram, it invited.

I nervously climbed the steps, entered the little waiting room and made an appointment.

It was the first time I had ever had a mammogram, and I now understand why women don’t like it very much. I had no idea that breasts can be squeezed and compressed so dramatically. Bread dough being flattened under a rolling-pin springs to mind. The actual compression only lasts a few seconds and is utterly necessary, but I was heartily glad when it was all over.

“We’ll be in touch,” said the receptionist as I left.

I put it out of my mind until I received an ominous letter.

Thank you for attending your appointment at Breast Screening, New South Wales. We would like you to return to have further tests to complete your screening. This appointment usually takes from two to four hours, however, occasionally an appointment can take longer. It is therefore recommended that you commit the day to your visit just in case.

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