Tony Hill & Carol Jordan - 05 - Beneath the Bleeding by Val McDermid

Author:Val McDermid
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: 侦探小说
ISBN: 9780007259557
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2006-12-31T13:00:00+00:00

Midnight

Would he know she’d been spending so much time here? Would her presence leave a stain? Would he turn to her, like one of the three bears, saying, ‘Who’s been sitting in my chair?’ She might be blonde, but Carol was no Goldilocks. She swallowed the last mouthful of wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, conveniently placed within reach on the floor. There was something comforting about being here. Even though she’d just arrested a suspect who ran counter to Tony’s convictions about Robbie Bishop’s murder, Carol felt confident in her professional judgement.

It was her private emotions that gave her more trouble. It was easy to be sure of her feelings when he wasn’t here – she missed him, she could create a conversation between them on any subject under the sun, she could picture the shifting expressions on his face. She could almost dare to think the l-word. But when they were in the same space, all her certainties shifted. She needed him too much and her anxiety over doing or saying something that would drive a wedge between them became her overriding consideration. And so the things unsaid and undone loomed large in everything they said and did. She had no idea how to resolve it. And for all his professional expertise, she suspected Tony was no wiser than her in this crucial respect.

In his hospital room, Tony lay with the lights off and the curtains open. The thick clouds reflected the city’s glow, taking the edge off the darkness. He’d dropped off to sleep earlier, but it hadn’t lasted long. He wanted to be home in his own bed. Or at least on his own sofa, given how impossible the thought of stairs seemed right now. Nobody waking him at six with a cup of tea he didn’t want. Nobody making judgements about him based on his choice of boxer shorts. Nobody treating him like he was five years old and incapable of making his own decisions. Above all, nobody to let his mother in.

He sighed, a long, deep exhalation that left him hollow. Who was he kidding? He’d be just as restless and miserable at home as he was here. What he needed was work. That was what made him tick, what made his mind inhabitable. Without work, without direction, his thoughts were like a hamster on a wheel, circling and dancing with no destination and no possibility of arrival. With work, he could avoid anything but the most superficial consideration of Carol Jordan and his feelings for her. Once, there might have been a faint hope of them building a future. But circumstances and his reactions to them had blown that. If there had ever been a real possibility of her loving him, that was history.

And probably best that it was, for all concerned. Especially now his mother was back on the scene.

The insistent bass seemed to have taken up residence in Chris’s thighs. With every beat, her muscles contracted a fraction and her bones seemed to vibrate.

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