The World Without Us by Robin Stevenson

Author:Robin Stevenson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: JUV039160, JUV039030, JUV039060
Publisher: Orca Book Publishers
Published: 2014-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

Water Under the Bridge

Apparently Jeremy’s suicide attempt has turned me into a magnet for the morbidly curious. The story—or at least the bare fact that he jumped from the Sunshine Skyway Bridge—is now public knowledge, and all day I catch people sneaking sideways looks at me and whispering to each other.

After school, Adriana is waiting by my locker. In front of my locker, actually. “Excuse me,” I say.

“Mel, please listen to me for a minute.” Her reddish blond hair is tied back but a few curls have pulled loose, sticking out in a frizz at her temples.

“You’re in my way,” I say coldly.

She steps to one side but doesn’t leave. I pull a few random books out of my locker and cram them into my backpack, unable to concentrate enough to figure out what I actually need to bring home.

“Mel, I’m sorry, okay? I never meant all that stuff to happen.”

“What stuff would that be?” I straighten up so I can watch her squirm. I don’t need you, I think. I don’t need you. I don’t care what you think.

Her cheeks are flushed, but she stands her ground. “You’re not being fair, you know.”

“I’m not being fair? Hello?” I slam my locker door shut. “Are you fucking serious? You made my life hell.”

“I didn’t mean to,” she says. “I mean, that party…you were freaking out. I didn’t know how much Tylenol you’d taken or what else you were going to do. I called 9-1-1 because I was scared, okay? I didn’t want you to die.” She bursts into tears. “I thought you might understand that now. Because of your friend.”

I stare at her and feel like a snow globe someone just picked up and shook—scraps of stuff whirling in my head in a white confusion. What she did—what I have never forgiven her for—is exactly what I failed to do. I didn’t call 9-1-1. I didn’t save my friend. I didn’t take the chance of making him angry, of losing the friendship. “I’m not spreading rumors about Jeremy,” I say, trying to hold on to something.

“I didn’t mean that to happen,” she says. “I mean, after you got taken off in the ambulance, Devika and I had to say something. And it just kind of spun out of control.”

“Death Wish? Was that part of what you and Devika just had to say?”

“I don’t even know who started that,” she says. “It wasn’t me though. And anyway, it was as much about how you were dressing, you know, all in black. It was like you just became a different person.”

I snort. “You and Devika were the ones that changed. As soon as I said I was going to do the early college prep thing, you guys basically dumped me.”

“We didn’t. You dumped us.” She rubs her sleeve across her wet eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Water under the bridge.”

I wish she hadn’t used that expression. Instantly, I’m back there, leaning over that concrete wall, looking down into the inky darkness below.

“Maybe we can just forget about it.

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