The Vampire Club by Scott Nicholson;J. R. Rain

Author:Scott Nicholson;J. R. Rain
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Young Adult, Vampires, children's, YA, paranormal romance, vampire academy, vampire, Fiction, drama, Science Fiction, Meg Cabot, Fantasy, Stephenie Meyer, Amanda Hocking, urban fantasy
Published: 2011-01-01T10:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirty-three

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.”

“Pardon me?” I asked Dial.

“Shit.”

“That’s what I thought you said.”

“Is there a problem, Dial?” interjected the professor.

Dial pointed behind me and said, “Shit.”

I turned to see the rapidly moving figure of our host, Granddaddy Grandmaster, otherwise known as Grandmaster. He moved like a two-legged crab, bony but determined.

Grandmaster was surrounded by a small entourage. They were jabbering away wildly, and I was not surprised to hear my name mentioned once or twice.

“Shit,” hissed Dial once again, for we were standing quite motionless in the doorway of the mansion. We were about to cross paths with a vicious pack of VVV.

“C’mon,” said Dial, turning his back. “Let’s get in and get out of here.”

I was all for the idea and was turning my narrow shoulders to carry out Dial’s little gem of an idea. Grandmaster bellowed, “Dial? Is that Dial? I can’t tell one of you monsters from the rest!”

“It is I, Granddaddy Grandmaster,” he said, and I hoped the fear in his voice was mistaken for respect.

“Dial. Good.”

Granddaddy made his sweet way along the walk and was soon on the porch, standing boldly next to me. “Excuse me, Grandmaster,” I said in my deepest, most manly voice as I removed my pulverized foot from under his boot. I lowered my head and hunched down, grateful for the silly little caps the VVV wore.

He turned to me. “Isn’t it a little late for selling cookies, little girl?”

So much for my ego.

I was tongue-tied, but I decided to simply open my mouth and rely solely on my primal instinct to get me through this sticky situation. “Can I use your toilet?”

“Yeah, sure, just be quick, we have some important business at hand. Now let’s see, it’s on the left of the main entrance of the right hallway towards the center of the room to your left. If you keep to your right and then finally turn left at the library which would be on your right, no, left, you shouldn’t have any problem. You getting this, little girl?”

“No, Mister.”

“Who wants to help this little girl to the potty?”

I saw feet fidgeting and then slowly stepping back. “Anger?” Grandmaster asked.

“No, not me, Grandmaster,” said a low voice. “Little girls make me nervous.”

“Didn’t you just take out an entire Baltic Army of Darkness a few years ago?”

“Sort of. Just their elite forces.”

“And yet little girls make you nervous?”

“They whimper when you kill them—I mean, when you don’t buy any cookies from them.”

“How about you, Rip?” Grandmaster said.

“Don’t know where it’s at.”

“Why?”

“Never used it here.”

“How long have you been living here?”

“I was transferred here from East Germany two years ago.”

“Have you, er, gone to the bathroom since?”

“No.”

“I can scarcely believe that, Rip.”

“It’s true, Grandmaster. I’ve spent some of my training in a Tibetan monastery, and they taught me many wonders. But as to the wonder pertaining to this conversation, they taught me the art of elimination of bodily fluids through skin.”

“This is possible?”

“Oh, yes, for I am living proof. The process of evaporation is a constant process for me.

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