The Secret Son by Jennifer Burke

Author:Jennifer Burke [Burke, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, Poolbeg, Fiction, bestseller winner
ISBN: 9781781991343
Publisher: Poolbeg Press
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

Mrs Boden’s funeral took place two days after Claire left. The clear sky disguised the biting cold and the sun seemed to mock the tragedy as the entire town filed into the church to say goodbye to another Ballyloughlin stalwart. I tried to make myself as inconspicuous as possible. I sat with my family about halfway back, horrifically ashamed at my own relief that Katie, rather than me, was the centre of attention. There was no mention of the visiting list, though everyone on it must have known I was due to see her that night. I wondered if it had been hushed up for Mum’s sake.

Katie had been discharged from the hospital last night and came directly to the removal service. Though desperate to avoid any contact with Jeanette, I knew I could not avoid the obligatory queuing to sympathise with relatives at the end of the service. Mercifully, the line shuffled with relative speed through the front row of mourners and Jeanette shook my hand with a blank expression and generic “Thank you”. It was only when I had moved on to her husband beside her that she seemed to belatedly realise who I was. I could sense her stare following me but I kept my head down and walked quickly back down the side aisle.

Her purposeful gaze made me certain she knew about the list, and my abandonment of her mother on the last night of her life. Despite Lizzy’s attempts to comfort me, the fact remains that if I had visited her, there is a chance I might have spotted a warning sign. Jeanette Boden, I was sure, must hate me.

Mum was worried Katie would not cope well at the funeral after memories of Mrs Boden’s kindness caused her to weep uncontrollably for an hour after the removal. But my sister insisted on attending to pay her respects and say goodbye. She was improving daily, but was still pale and tired-looking. Sitting as close to Mum as possible, she accepted good wishes from those who approached her with small smiles.

The funeral service was long, with hymns and prayers from a queue of neighbours and friends. Mrs Boden’s long life and service to Ballyloughlin was recounted in detail. The photo of her that stood on the coffin had been taken some years previously and showed her grinning directly at the camera, her eyes sparkling behind her round glasses. I did not realise until it was mentioned in her son-in-law’s short eulogy that she was eighty-nine years old. I suppose that explains why she seemed ancient even when we were kids. Staring at the photo, I half expected her to pop up from behind the pews and press a chocolate sweet into my palm with a “Hush, now, don’t tell your mother!”

Lizzy kept close to me during the funeral. But afterwards, as we stood around the front of the church, waiting for the immediate family to come back from the private burial her family had requested in the graveyard just behind, I found myself standing alone and accosted by a longhaired woman.

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