The Ruling Class (Modern Plays) by Peter Barnes

Author:Peter Barnes
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9781474248556
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2015-03-27T04:00:00+00:00

Scene Nine

Footlights up immediately. A metal sun lowered from flies. The Earl, lying downstage right, rouses himself as Grace enters wings left.

Earl of Gurney My dreams made flesh or a reasonable facsimile thereforeto. (Gets up, bows politely.) Eh – bien, comment allez-vous, madame?

Grace Sorry, I don’t speak French.

Earl of Gurney German? Italian? Albanian? Yiddish?

Grace No. English.

Earl of Gurney English. Why didn’t you say so before? Nothing to be ashamed of, hard language to master. But we can’t play this love scene with mere words, be they English, Japanese or Serbo-Croat.

Grace Love scene? What now?

Earl of Gurney Love isn’t just for one season. (Smiles, flapping arms like a bird). Hweet, hweep.

Grace Hweet?

Earl of Gurney (arms quivering) Tsiff-tsiff-tsiff. (Hopping). Chiff-chaff-chaff-chaff.

Grace (laughing) Oh, well. (Flaps arms.) Chiff-chaff.

They circle round each other with tiny bird movements, Grace bending forward and hopping, the Earl bobbing his head and making low loping sweeps.

Earl of Gurney (long drawn-out, high-pitched) Pioo – pioo – pioo.

Grace Cuckoo!

Earl of Gurney (crescendo) Pioo.

Grace (breathless) I’ll bet even Ludovic Koch wasn’t made love to with bird cries.

Earl of Gurney What else would you like? The Grand Canyon? A musical teacup? A hundred pre-sold holy wafers? A disused banana factory? Absolution?

Grace A white wedding.

Earl of Gurney Will next Tuesday suit you?

Grace You deserve a big kiss.

Earl of Gurney Not here in the garden. Last time I was kissed in a garden – it turned out rather awkward.

Grace Ah, but Judas was a man.

Earl of Gurney (nodding) Hmm, yes, a strange business.

Grace laughs.

Earl of Gurney Who are you?

Grace A woman.

Earl of Gurney Descended from Eve.

Grace No, a doorstep. I’m an orphan.

Earl of Gurney Then we’ll be orphans together, Marguerite.

Grace Call me Grace, as I don’t speak French.

Earl of Gurney A good name. It means a gift of faith.

Grace Which is what I have in you. I’m holding you to that wedding.

Earl of Gurney Hold hard. You’ll be my Queen of Queens.

Grace I’ll be satisfied with Lady Gurney.

Earl of Gurney (takes her hands) And I say unto you, thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.

Grace I do.

Earl of Gurney I want to show you the bottom drawer or my soul. (Suddenly joyful.) Oh, but I’m happy, I’m the sunshine-man, the driver of the gravy-train, chu-chu-chu.

Grace laughs.

Earl of Gurney It’s all so simple, for me. Paradise is just a smiling face. What’s it for you?

Grace Me? Paradise? Oh, a fireplace. A cosy room.

Earl of Gurney (nodding) A little nest . . .

Hand in hand they go into a dance routine to wings right.

Grace (singing) ‘That nestles where the roses bloom.’

Earl of Gurney (singing; indicating partner) ‘Sweet Gracey and me . . . ’

Grace (singing: looking at him) ‘And a baby makes three.’

Grace and Earl of Gurney (singing) ‘We’re going to our blue heaven.’

Grace kisses him, exits wings right. The Earl takes out a pocket telescope, opens it out and stares after her as Dinsdale enters sulkily.

Dinsdale Gurney What are you looking at?

Earl of Gurney (handing him telescope) Beauty in motion.

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