The Philanthropist by John Tesarsch

Author:John Tesarsch
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Affirm Press

XVI

ANNA WAS NOT expecting Charlie to intrude on the privacy of her chambers. Then again, he was always impulsive and unpredictable.

When she saw him in hospital he was hooked up to a drip and there were traces of vomit caught in his stubble. He was so weak she had felt nothing but sympathy. Now, when she is told that he is waiting outside, the force of her anger takes her by surprise. But her anger softens when he appears at the doorway. He is unsteady and shuffles towards her on the balls of his feet. He is wearing the clothes of a homeless man: pants with the seat hanging down, wine-stains on his shirt. His breath smells of fried onions, and his skin is yellow. His eyes are bloodshot and he is bent over, shrunken in upon himself.

This is the man, she must remind herself: this is the man who abandoned her. She wants to accuse him but it was all too long ago and so much has happened since.

He sits down opposite and they talk. It is surprising how easy she finds this, all things considered. But then he was always charming and she should know better than to relax in his company. At first they talk about her career and about his retirement. Then they talk about his health. He is more emotional than she would have expected, and he does not pretend to be coping well with his illness. He tells her about his nightmares – he calls them dreams, but clearly they cause him distress.

This is the odd part about it: she can twist the knife but she does not. It is too late now for revenge. She cannot bring herself to humiliate a man who has trouble keeping his balance.

When he leaves she has trouble concentrating. He interrupted her when she was midway through drafting a judgment and now she cannot work out how to continue. The judgment is long overdue and she is under pressure from the Chief Justice to complete it before she goes on leave, but now it seems of little importance.

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