The Perfect Daughter by Alex Stone

Author:Alex Stone [Stone, Alex]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Boldwood Books
Published: 2021-10-18T16:00:00+00:00

I lay on my bed after Helen had left. Her visit had been exhausting. Or perhaps it had been my tears. They’d seemed endless. It was the first time I’d allowed myself to cry properly in years. I’d cried for Adam; for us; but mostly for myself.

Being the centre of Adam’s attention had been amazing, like being seen for the first time in years. Seen and admired. But his attention had wavered. I couldn’t keep it.

The spotlight went out and I’d become invisible again.

I’d tried to keep him; to make him see me. But I’d known I was failing. I wasn’t enough. Somehow, I’d fallen short. Just like always.

I stared at the photo of us on my bedside cabinet. I should move it; put it away somewhere in a drawer, out of sight. But I couldn’t. It was a reminder of what we’d had. It was a perfect memory of an imperfect life.

‘What did I do wrong, Adam?’

Silence was the only answer.

Perhaps that was the answer. Nothing.

I frowned. Was that even possible? Had the failings in our relationship not been my fault? Or at least not entirely?

I’d always assumed it was me that was wrong. Somehow.

But what if it wasn’t me? What if it was him?

I shuffled up in bed and picked up the frame.

Why did my visibility and relevance depend on him?

I had so many restrictions on my life. I thought they’d come from me; from my fears; my inadequacies. But what if they’d come from Mum’s insecurities? She’d repeated them; undermining my confidence until her fears and priorities had become my own. And I’d let her.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t important. Just that everything else was more important. I could wait because that’s what I’d always done. I put myself last because that was my place. I wasn’t good enough to be first.

I’d spent years feeling trapped; like I was biding my time getting though life, waiting for it to get better, instead of actually living it and doing what I wanted.

And then Adam saw me. For the first time in so long, someone had seen through my invisibility and liked me for who I was. I was good enough. I was better than just good enough; I was beautiful and wanted.

For a little while.

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