The New Rules of High School by Blake Nelson

Author:Blake Nelson [Nelson, Blake]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781101562741
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2004-09-09T00:00:00+00:00

32

Lydia’s second installment of “The New Rules of High School” was about “plexing,” which was sneaking into different movies at the cineplex besides the one you paid for. It was also about how boys like the stupidest movies and go see them over and over. And how all the actresses now have implants to enhance their breasts and why can’t guys get implants to enhance their brains. It was a big hit. It was all anyone talked about. So far, Lydia was carrying the paper.

Her third column was about Nathan Reimer. It was called “The Hot Jock.” It was a list of the reasons Nathan was a “hottie,” the reasons he was a “biscuit,” the reasons he was a total “spaniel.” I didn’t know girls were calling guys “spaniels,” or even what that meant. But that didn’t matter.

“We can’t run this,” I told Lydia, when I’d finished it. “This is a personals ad.”

“It’s a column.”

“No, it’s not.”

Lydia stood over me. She had come to the Owl office to show it to me. She was suddenly hanging out there a lot.

“I think it’s fine. I think people will like it.”

“It’s not appropriate. It puts Nathan on the spot. We can’t have people writing love letters to individual people in the school paper.”

“You’re jealous,” she said. “You’re jealous and you don’t like me writing a column anyway.”

“I’m not jealous. What would I be jealous of?”

“Nathan.”

“I’m happy for Nathan. He’s bringing honor to us all.”

“You’re jealous that I like him now. And not you.”

This was an interesting statement. I wondered if it could be true.

“And you’re jealous that people like my column.” She snatched the paper from me. “I’m going to ask Mr. Owens.”

That night, Lydia called me at home. “I’m sorry I said you were jealous,” she said.

“It’s all right,” I said. “What did Mr. Owens say?”

“He agreed with you. Of course. Nathan is a total hottie though.”

“I know. The girls are all over him in the cafeteria.”

“Where did he come from? Nobody knew him last year.”

“He was injured. Something with his foot.”

“It’s weird how people become popular all of a sudden,” she said.

“When I broke up with Cindy, I was so sure she was about to become super popular.”

“Did she?”

“No. She kept being Cindy.”

“What’s she doing these days?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I never really see her.”

“But you guys must talk.”

“She doesn’t seem to want to.”

“She probably still likes you.”

“I doubt that.”

I could hear her moving around in her room. The radio was on behind her. “Wait, so why can’t we run my piece about Nathan again?” she asked.

“You can’t do stuff like that in a school paper.”

“You sound like a teacher.”

“In a way, I am.”

The next morning I talked to Jill St. John in the parking lot. She was working with a new anarchist environmental group called Anarcadia. They were spiking trees in British Columbia. She was going to write about it. It was illegal of course, but it sounded cool, and I told her we could find a way to cover it in the Owl.

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