The Last Note by Amrit Sinha

Author:Amrit Sinha [SINHA, AMRIT]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9789351180470
Publisher: Penguin Random House India Private Limited
Published: 2012-11-30T00:00:00+00:00

‘The only thing lacking today is a Coke,’ his voice disrupted my chain of thoughts.

We always had a glass of some soft drink or another with our meals whenever we went out on dates. Yes, that’s true—a single glass of Coke, with a straw, as we took turns sipping. Coke was just an excuse, though. Actually, it was a way to display our sense of belonging, the desire to love each other, the dream of becoming one, that made us enjoy drinking from the same straw.

‘Why didn’t you marry, Akash?’ I repeated my question.

We finished our dinner. Wiping his fingers with a tissue paper, he explained, ‘I had had my share of love already, Sapna. I couldn’t love again. In fact, I wasn’t interested in loving someone else, and maybe that’s why I never had the urge to get married. I started writing and kept on writing, and in the process interacted with the love that was buried deep within me. I miss being in love, but I wish to be in that same love always. That’s why I never thought of finding someone else.’

I couldn’t reply. The break-up had been harsh on both of us at that time, but perhaps it was he who felt its impact more. Was I guilty in some way? Could we have sorted out our problems and restarted our love life in a fresh and organized manner? But then, love can never be organized; it’s the madness encircling it that really makes it what it is. It’s only when you try to play with your mind that love starts becoming a burden—because love resides in your heart; it’s not to be tampered with the silly thoughts that run in your brain. Perhaps we were too young then and our unnecessary egos really came in the way of our love.

A note he had written to me then flashed once again before my eyes:

‘Me the fire, you the rain,

How does it matter whether we lose or gain?

So stupid of me to imagine us together,

Your downpour turned me to ash forever.’

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