The History of Jane Doe by Michael Belanger

Author:Michael Belanger
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2018-06-05T04:00:00+00:00

167–133 DAYS BEFORE

WHEN SIMON MET MARY

After our kiss at Beddington’s Christmas party, Jane and I settled into our new relationship status, gradually building our own history onto the history of Burgerville. We became boyfriend and girlfriend when I accidentally gave us the labels in a text. We were joking around, thinking of ways to freak out Simon when school started again.

Jane: 5:45 p.m.: Matching outfits.

Me: 5:46 p.m.: Fake tattoos with each other’s initials.

Jane: 5:47 p.m.: Going to school on one of those bikes with two seats. What are they called?

Me: 5:47 p.m.: Not sure. I’ve never had a girlfriend before. And Simon would always say he was busy when I asked him to rent one with me . . .

Jane: 5:47 p.m.: Are you calling me your girlfriend?

I almost threw my phone against the wall. What was I thinking? I kept trying to come up with a cool response, but nothing sounded right. I even texted Simon for help, but I’m pretty sure he was in his vampire book club at the time, because all he texted back was a customized vampire emoji. I knew I didn’t have much time, so I tried to act like it was no big deal.

Me: 5:51 p.m.: If I was, would that be okay?

It felt like hours before Jane texted me back. I imagined her trying to let me off easy. Or maybe she would just never talk to me again. Then I realized only thirty seconds had passed.

Jane: 5:52 p.m.: Yes, boyfriend.

The next day in class, Jane presented me with a detailed list of relationship rules. “Sometimes I need space. No hand-holding in public. No cute animal nicknames. And lastly, but most importantly, please don’t ever smell my hair.”

“But I like smelling your hair,” I said.

“I’ll think about it,” she said, smiling at me.

“It’s very normal,” Mr. Parker said, suddenly appearing in front of our desks. “Hair secretes a natural pheromone designed to attract potential mates. That’s why I love the comic book . . .”

Mr. Parker finished an explanation that had something to do with the Tick, though he seemed to confuse himself mid-sentence: “Or am I thinking about Mantis from The Avengers?” Luckily, I remembered to close my notebook so Mr. Parker couldn’t see the picture Jane had drawn of him dressed as Batman eating a burrito. That’d be an awkward conversation.

Jane and I were also making out whenever we got the chance, though the conditions weren’t always ideal. We’d either have to awkwardly position ourselves in the car, withstand frigid temperatures in the Lost Woods, or keep an eye out for Mrs. Doe, who seemed obsessed with getting us snacks and knowing whether or not we’d read about the most recent bear sightings in the Burgerville Gazette.

Still, I could tell Jane was struggling with something she wasn’t ready to share with me. She seemed to barely sleep, texting me at all hours of the night, bags under her eyes the next day, the occasional nap during Mr. Parker’s lectures. She’d also sometimes be in a bad mood for no apparent reason.

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