The Doctor's Date by Heidi Cullinan

Author:Heidi Cullinan [Cullinan, Heidi]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: gay romance
ISBN: 978-1-64080-852-2
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2019-06-17T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

THE HOUSE was silent as Owen led Erin to his bedroom. Jared was conspicuously absent, leaving Erin alone with Owen, his rapid heartbeat, and his raging doubts.

It wasn’t a question of him wanting this. He’d dreamed of making love to Owen, fantasized about being with him since forever. He’d never thought of being with anyone else. This was such an epic moment for him, and he felt as if he were made of butterflies. Puberty had come late and slowly to Erin, to the point he’d thought something must be wrong with him, because when his body did finally begin to react, it didn’t behave the way everyone else’s had. His orgasms were so much quieter, to start, and never focused on anything. It was more that sometimes he had a tiny flare of sexual excitement, reacting to random stimulus. He’d never had fantasies, either… except for ones of Owen, and even these were vague and nebulous. Colors and images in his mind as his body chased release.

This would be completely different, and he wasn’t sure he was ready.

Sex, with Owen Gagnon. That he was having sex with anyone was enough to send him reeling, because he’d assumed he never would. That it was happening, and it was with Owen…. Here he was, almost at the door to Owen’s room, where Owen would kiss him, touch him, take off his clothes—

“You okay?” They were inside the room now, and Owen touched Erin’s face, regarding him with concern. “You’re pale as a sheet and rigid as a stone.” His crooked smile turned sad. “Look, we don’t have to do this.”

Erin shook his head, trying not to be wooden. “No, I do want to. I’m apprehensive, is all. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Owen slid his fingers to Erin’s nape, threading them into his hair. “Seriously, we can go slow, or if you don’t want to, if lower contact isn’t your thing, I’m okay with it. We can table sex for now, or… you know.”

Erin couldn’t breathe. “What do you mean? You’re okay with what?”

“I mean I want to be with you in whatever way is right for you. Why is that upsetting?” Owen pursed his lips. “Are you afraid of me?”

Though Owen asked this with a teasing note in his voice, Erin could also see the shadows in his face, echoes left over from the ones from dinner. Why was he so obsessed with worry about Erin being afraid of him? “I’m not afraid of you.”

Owen relaxed. “Okay. Are you nervous because you’re trying to tell me you don’t want to go all the way?”

“It’s not that, it’s….” Erin considered his reply carefully. “It’s so much, to let someone past my defenses this far.”

Owen brought his fingers to Erin’s face. “You’ve been alone for so long. I want to be with you, if only for a little while.”

The hard, cold ball of fear inside Erin rolled forward into his hand, and he clenched it tight. “This is the problem.

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