The Desert Behind Me by Shannon Baker

Author:Shannon Baker [Baker, Shannon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Severn River Publishing
Published: 2019-05-05T16:00:00+00:00

25

I tried my voice in pretend conversation until no sound of stress strummed when it came out. Then I dialed Mom.

She sounded tired. “I was having a glass of wine before bed. How are you? Why are you calling so late?”

Damn. I hadn’t wanted to appear anything but normal. “I guess I forgot about the time change. Sorry.”

“That’s okay. It’s been another tough day, that’s all.”

“The election?”

She sipped. “That investigator is a pain in the ass.”

“There’s nothing to find, so she’s going deep. She’ll move on to someone else soon.”

Mom’s voice tightened. “No one is completely clean. This isn’t an easy job and you have to make deals to get things done. But you’re right, there’s really nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing no other sheriff hasn’t done.”

Sheriff was a job I’d never wanted. Compromise could cross the line to corruption. I suffered guilt in the case of my early retirement. By law, I wasn’t eligible for full bennies for another eight months. I didn’t know where Mom stole the time, in manufactured unused personal leave, changing my hire date, giving me credit for working when I was locked inside the walls of a mental ward? Mom never explained and I never asked. Just cashed my checks each month.

She always stressed about elections and they’d never been close. “John Overton is a tough opponent, huh?”

“He’s a punk. Let’s talk about you. What’s going on in Tucson? Are you working out, eating well?”

I paced and braced myself. “I’ve been thinking about tha-tha…. That night. The evidence that was recovered. You know, the ponytail elastic and the necklace.”

“You shouldn’t dwell on that. The details will only upset you.”

“Tara thinks it’s good to face it.”

Her voice sweetened like warm caramel. “Well, I’m not sure I agree with that. Even so, if you want to remember it, please be under Tara’s supervision. You shouldn’t allow yourself to get upset when you’re alone.”

“I’m not upset, I—”

She interrupted, still keeping a soothing voice. “You’re upset right now. I can tell. Why don’t you take a sleeping pill and get a good night’s rest.”

Frank was thrashing around in my head.

“It’s time for me to come to terms with this. I think it was my fault and I’ll never get over it if I don’t find out why.”

A hint of frustration sliced her words. “We’ve been over this. You had a date. That’s normal and natural. It isn’t your fault. It hurts me as much as it does you. But the responsibility lies with the piece of shit who did it. And he’s dead. End of story.”

Frank growled “Goddamn liar. It doesn’t hurt her as much as it does you.”

My feet ached from pounding on the patio as I paced. “That’s just it. I need to see the evidence, read the case file. I have to know for sure he was the one.”

“It won’t bring you closure. It will only be another obsession, like those voices. Accept it, or you’ll never get better.”

“I’m not obsessing. I have a right to know.

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