The Cult of Romance by Sarah Ayoub

Author:Sarah Ayoub
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 16

I’m counting down the days to Mark’s and Thi’s arrival, even though I know they are going to spend the first few days of the trip down in Beirut. Like real tourists, as opposed to emigrant expats, Thi has organised trips for them that take in the sights and the history of the motherland I know nothing about. The Jeita Grotto, Baalbek, museums like Beiteddine and Qasr Moussa, the mountains, Downtown Beirut (which I had only seen a fraction of), southern cities like Saida and Sour (Tyre), and Saydet Harissa, a huge shrine to the Virgin Mary visited by people of many faiths.

I find it so upsetting that my friends, who aren’t even Lebanese, soon will be able to talk about my motherland with more experience than I can when we go home. True, I never really cared much for coming here, but the little snippets I have seen so far – and the warmth and generosity of the villagers I’ve visited with – are enticing me in a way I never pictured, so feeling left out is especially triggering right now.

I thought living with Tayta was hard, but not having the freedom to go anywhere is worse. I’m bound to a couple so infatuated with one another they forget other people exist, and to George, who gives me whiplash – fun at some moments, completely irritating the rest of the time.

One particular morning, sick of my lack of independence, I ask Janet’s grandmother if there is some sort of public transport system I could use to go somewhere different. She shakes her head sadly, telling me about the war and how it changed the fabric of the country so much. I can tell she feels sorry for me because Janet’s Uncle Ronny finds me on the veranda a short while later and asks me if I would like to take a trip to the Jeita Grotto, limestone caves that can only be seen by boat. I nod enthusiastically, and he tells me he will talk to Janet about organising a trip.

But nothing eventuates. Janet suggests we knock more things off the wedding to-do list first – we still haven’t settled on bridesmaids’ dresses – and I feel uneasy telling her to shelve planning the biggest day of her life so I can go on some excursion.

I guess I’m so wary of causing any problems that I don’t push it, even though I feel like I’m being pushed the other way.

* * *

I finally accept that the only time we leave the village for something other than wedding duties is when Michael or George want to go somewhere. One afternoon, we head to a nearby village for a soccer game. Janet and I sit on the grass watching the game and eating pumpkin seeds. I know that George and Michael are joined at the hip, but on the field, they are a sight to behold.

‘Seriously,’ Janet says, gesturing to them. ‘They’re a seamless fit. It’s like they’ve been practising these passes since they were babies in the womb.

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