The Bread of Angels: A Journey to Love and Faith by Saldana Stephanie

Author:Saldana, Stephanie [Saldana, Stephanie]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2010-02-03T16:00:00+00:00

6.

MY CONFESSION TO MY FATHER was the beginning of the end for me. I didn’t want to become a nun. I dreaded giving up my life. I felt like the mother in Solomon’s parable about splitting the baby in two. I had given up everything because I thought I didn’t have the choice. But now I wanted the baby back.

The next morning when I woke up, a voice was speaking from inside of me. Only this time, it wasn’t telling me to become a nun.

I don’t want to go back to Syria, it said.

When I went downstairs for breakfast, I took a long look at my family, seated around the table. They looked so normal, so human. My father was wearing his terrible red shirt. My siblings were laughing. My stepmother was setting out a plate of cinnamon rolls. Here they were, my roots, tying me to the earth. I couldn’t imagine letting them go. I thought of Hassan, almost gasping: My Baghdad doesn’t exist anymore. I thought of a Palestinian refugee cabdriver taking me home from school in Damascus and shyly asking me if I had ever been to his village in Israel, if I knew what it looked like. Of the Baron, dreaming of a house abandoned in the middle of a war and never returned to again.

I had a home. I had a family. I had never touched the simple, alarming beauty of it.

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