The Boat in the Tiger Suit by Willenbrink Hank

Author:Willenbrink, Hank [Willenbrink, Hank]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Original Works Publishing
Published: 2014-09-17T16:00:00+00:00

PART 2: ANOTHER BOAT,

SOMEWHERE ELSE, LATER

(Anyway, when that’s over, another boat, somewhere else. Years later. Gene and Rene sit together across from Dave and April. They are all dressed up. They drink champagne. It’s a calm evening. The soft tolling of a bell in the distance. A breeze. In other words, perfect.)

DAVE: Okay, okay, okay, so tell me this…

APRIL: Here he goes.

DAVE: I’m serious. Seriously. This is a serious question.

RENE: Okay…

DAVE: If you die…do you want to be resuscitated?

APRIL: Honey, you said if .

DAVE: I meant when you get sick, do you want one of those, whatdayacallem? A DNR.

APRIL: When you’re sick or when you’re dead?

DAVE: When you’re sick, do you want me to resurrect you?

GENE: Como Jesus Christ.

RENE: Yes, like Jesus Christ, our Lord.

APRIL: Rene…?

RENE: Yeah?

APRIL: Jesus?

RENE: We’ve been going to church. I find it calming.

APRIL: But you don’t believe in it, do you?

DAVE: Hon?

APRIL: Sorry. We’re doing this thing now where when I say something that’s going to make Dave’s head explode he says something very comforting and neutral to me and that’s the sign that I should shut up.

RENE: So the therapy’s working.

DAVE: Like you wouldn’t believe.

APRIL: It’s a give and take.

GENE: We went to Puerto Rico last month.

RENE: To meet his parents. Because he had already met mine…

DAVE: How was it?

GENE: Wonderful. Really really wonderful.

RENE: You know they call it “La isla bonita” – the beautiful island.

APRIL: We’ve all heard the Madonna song.

GENE: Actually: “La isla del encanto.”

DAVE: Is that the one where she’s stuck in the room the whole time?

RENE: Yeah and she’s got that like early Madonna butch bull dyke hair.

DAVE: That was kind of a shitty video.

APRIL: It was “Pappa Don’t Preach” era.

DAVE: Right, the whole internal religious conflict.

RENE: Danny Aiello.

GENE: What was the point of all that?

RENE: He was kinda famous at the time.

GENE: I mean her whole playing up the religion thing.

APRIL: She was raised Catholic.

GENE: So were over one billion of us.

RENE: She felt an implicit contradiction between her sexual expression and her religion.

APRIL: I’m not going to defend Madonna.

RENE: Except to say that religion is very important to some people.

DAVE: She certainly didn’t act like it.

GENE: I think your culture is too hung up on religion.

RENE: Right and Latin America is immune from Catholicism.

GENE: We know what to do with it.

RENE: So do we. We make “Like a Prayer” and call it art.

GENE: Everyone in the United States so concerned with their beliefs. It’s a little suffocating.

DAVE: Gene’s right on this one. I’m just not sure Madonna is the right example, but we do tend to take things far too seriously. Religion is just one example, I mean think about when she did the sex book.

RENE: With a Spaniard…

DAVE: Right. Wait, what was my point?

APRIL: That the whole sex book scandal was drummed up by a male-biased media who was obsessed with seeing someone’s tits. That book was boring. Boring, I say.

GENE: She lost the rosary pretty soon after that.

APRIL: She wore it in the book too. I think.

DAVE: No, my point was that people got really upset about that book when they probably shouldn’t have.

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