Strong Calm Confident You : How to Stop the Endless Cycle of Pleasing, Perfecting and Performing by Kelsey Buckholtz

Author:Kelsey Buckholtz [Buckholtz, Kelsey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-02-27T18:30:00+00:00

6. Stress Less, Love More

Through therapy, self-help books and trial and error, I have learned several strategies and tools to help me manage my stress and anxiety. In this chapter, I’ll take you through these strategies and how to use them.

Reframing Negative Thoughts

As you start to add healthy behaviors into your life and do the work to love yourself better, you will start to notice that your negative thoughts or mind monsters may get louder before they get better. But remember, you are not your thoughts! Sometimes these negative thoughts can keep you from being productive and doing what you need to do, which is why it’s helpful to learn how to reframe them. Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true and it doesn’t mean you have to listen to it.

Start by noticing what the monsters are saying throughout the day. When you start to feel triggered, sad, angry or anxious, take a minute to recognize what thoughts are going through your head. You may be surprised to realize how toxic your own thoughts are and how much they may be impacting you.

Byron Katie, a well-known author and speaker, created a method of self-inquiry called “The Work.” The Work consists of four questions that anyone can ask themselves to reframe a negative or stressful thought. When you notice a negative thought, ask yourself the following questions:

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