Real Strength: Build Your Resilience and Bounce Back From Anything by Psychologies Magazine

Author:Psychologies Magazine [Magazine, Psychologies]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Psychology, Movements, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Self-Help, Motivational & Inspirational, Self-Management, General, Business & Economics
ISBN: 9780857086716
Google: I9ssDwAAQBAJ
Amazon: B073YHPWBW
Goodreads: 34069539
Publisher: Capstone
Published: 2017-07-12T21:00:00+00:00

This feeling – that we have lost control – is perfectly natural. We are creatures of habit, after all, and generally feel safer when things are familiar – be that our job, relationship or home. Put another way, when things change, we can feel unsafe, stressed out and frightened – the very opposite of real strength.

In the 1960s, the Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed the ‘grief cycle model’. She proposed that any terminally ill patient would go through these five stages of grief on learning they were going to die. She also proposed that this model could be applied to anyone going through any life-changing situation – that is, any big change. It makes sense, since if you think about it, change IS loss: instead of losing a loved one, you are losing things being the way they were, so it’s no wonder it can throw us off course.

Take a look at them. Do you recognize any of the stages in terms of how you feel or have felt when going through change in your life?

Denial: This is the stage where whatever change you are going through is so overwhelming that you don’t want to believe or accept that it’s really happening; where you might even not want to discuss it with anyone.

Anger: You might lash out with the stress of it all – depending on what the change is, you might be angrily asking: why me? What have I done to deserve this?

Bargaining: This is the stage where you question the looming change itself, either with other people or within yourself: is this the right thing to be doing? If I did such and such, might I not have to go through with it at all?

Depression: You might feel sadness at things changing; after all you are waving goodbye to things being a certain way – a way you have felt comfortable with – and have no idea what things will be like after the change.

Acceptance: This is the last stage of grief. It’s not about feeling happy (although, you may feel happy); it’s more a stage of calm, a feeling that you have made peace with whatever change you’re going through and have grown as a person because of it. This is the stage where you are most likely to find the positives and the benefits of that change in circumstances, even if it felt very stressful while you were going through it.

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