Strip Tease by Carl Hiaasen

Author:Carl Hiaasen [Hiaasen, Carl]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3, pdf
Tags: Mystery & Detective, Humorous, Unknown, Fiction, Suspense, General, Action & Adventure, Legislators, Stripteasers, Adventure fiction, Extortion
ISBN: 9780446695671
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2005-03-01T23:19:07+00:00

Chapter 19

Shad called Sgt. Al Garcia and said it was time to talk. Garcia picked him up at noon and took the new interstate west, out of the city. Shad wondered where they were headed. He told the detective about Mordecai's plan to shake down the congressman. Garcia wanted to hear about the photograph.

"Who's in it, besides Dilbeck?"

"The guy he's whaling on," Shad said, "then me and Erin."

"Where's the original?"

"It's a color slide. The lawyer's got it, probably in a bank box but I don't know where. Not even the secretary knows."

Garcia asked about Mordecai. How had Shad met him? What was he like? Shad recounted everything, starting with the cockroach scam. The detective chuckled at the business about the temp eating Shad's yogurt, but otherwise listened seriously. He said: "So it's your guess the lawyer braced Dilbeck with a copy of the picture."

"That's the way he laid it out."

"And he promised you a cut of the payoff?"

"Yeah. Because I was a prime witness."

"And because he screwed up your roach case."

"Royal," said Shad, spitting out the window.

"Now he's missing and you're finally worried. You think maybe the same thing happened to your lawyer that happened to poor Jerry Killian. And you're thinking you might be next."

Shad said, "It's not me I'm worried about."

"Me neither, Cueball. It's your stripper friend."

"Dancer friend."

"Right. She's a nice lady."

Shad blinked straight ahead. "She got her daughter back. That ups the stakes."

"I see your point."

They came to a tangle of converging highways. Garcia bore north on U.S. 27. On both sides was a rolling horizon of water and sawgrass.

"The hell are we going?" Shad asked.

"Beautiful downtown Belle Glade. How about a cigar?"

Shad said sure. Al Garcia was pleased. They both lit up and the car filled with smoke. The detective rolled down the windows.

"Good?" he asked.

"All right," Shad said.

"Hey, chico, you inhaling?"

"Yeah. I like it."

"Damn," Garcia said. "That doesn't burn like hell?"

Shad said he didn't feel a thing. "I got what they call a high threshold."

They rode about ten miles working on their cigars, not saying a word. Eventually Garcia asked what it was like to work at a nude dance club.

Shad puffed out a heavy grunt. "After a while, you don't notice."

"Come on."

"Really. I'm to the point where I get excited when they put their clothes on. That's what happens after too long."

Garcia said, "I know guys would kill for your job."

"They can have it. Being around naked women all day is bad for your outlook. After a while it's just tits and ass and nothin' special. Like if you worked an assembly line making Ferraris—before long, they're just cars and that's all. You understand?"

"Everything gets boring."

"Damn right," Shad said, teething the cigar, "and when pussy gets boring, it's time for a career move."

"I know exactly how you feel." Al Garcia jerked a thumb over one shoulder. "Guess what I got in the trunk? An Igloo cooler. And guess what's in the cooler? A human head."

Shad violently expelled the cigar out the window. He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his camo jacket.

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