Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer

Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer

Author:Chris Colfer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2017-03-06T16:00:00+00:00


Chapter Twelve

SINNERS AND SAINTS

The Downers Grove troop pulled into the parking lot of the Oklahoma City Vacation Suites at seven fifteen on Monday evening, but Cash was nowhere to be found.

“Did a man come in this afternoon, saying he was traveling with a group?” Topher asked the woman at the check-in counter.

“I don’t believe so,” she said. “What does he look like?”

“Never mind, he would have left an impression,” Topher said. “We’d like to put one of our rooms under his name for when he arrives.”

By the time they’d settled into their room, Topher, Sam, and Mo were exhausted—not just from hiking through the hills of the Mark Twain National Forest, but also from their emotional fifteen minutes of fame. They decided to grab a quick bite at Noodles Galore, the pasta house across the street from the hotel, and then head straight to bed.

“Are you going to eat before your registration meeting?” Sam asked Joey.

“I’ll just grab dinner on my way back,” he said.

“Have fun!” Mo said. “Don’t party too hard without us.”

“Yeah, right,” Joey said. “A Monday night in Oklahoma City with a bunch of Baptists—don’t wait up!”

As soon as the door closed behind them, Joey got ready for his “registration meeting” like it was a fire drill. He put together a nice outfit and Googled what the appropriate number of buttons was to leave open for a hookup date (four, apparently).

Joey followed the advice of a shirtless and energetic gay YouTuber on how to have a safe and pleasurable sexual experience. He dashed to the pharmacy down the street, taking the long way around the hotel so his friends wouldn’t see him from Noodles Galore, and purchased the essentials to groom, clean, and protect himself.

By eight fifteen that night, Joey was feeling as fresh as humanly possible and prepared for anything the night had in store. There was only one problem: he still hadn’t heard from the guy he was meeting.

He paced around the small hotel room, continuously refreshing his ManNip app in case it wasn’t working properly. At eight thirty Joey worried his friends would return from dinner so he left the hotel and wandered aimlessly around downtown Oklahoma City while he waited to hear from Brian K.

At nine thirty, Joey figured he had been stood up, so he headed back to the hotel with his tail between his legs.

“Yeah, Daddy!” His phone rang three times.

Joey’s heart fluttered. Maybe the night wasn’t a total waste? He almost dropped his phone as he hurried to read the new ManNip messages.



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