Son of the Mob by Gordon Korman

Author:Gordon Korman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Disney Book Group
Published: 2012-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

Want me to show you a real gem of a cat with four on the floor? Robert E. Lee’s the name, and he can be yours for 250 bucks—SK.

Again, nitpicky, but don’t all cats technically have four on the floor?

If you’re going to a toga party, Equilibrium is the perfect cat to take there. He’s a real eight ball with a winning smile. Only $350—TC.

By Wednesday, I’m in third place in the class, trailing only cyberpharaoh and misterferraridriver. And the strange postings on my site have come to the attention of my fellow students.

“Hey, Vince,” calls Martin Antia. “I’ve got a cat to sell, too. He’s no prime minister, but maybe he can lick himself at the toga party just for laughs.”

“Shut up,” I groan.

“Yeah, what’s going on?” puts in Yuri, this Russian kid with a last name I won’t attempt to reproduce. “You’ve got dozens of ads, but the rest of your site is empty.”

“If you’ve got some cousin dreaming it all up,” adds Fiona, “tell him he’s got a real future in Hollywood.”

It doesn’t take much to get Alex mobilized on my behalf when Fiona’s the enemy. “Iluvmycat is a hundred-percent legit!” he snaps. “It’s going to smoke your crummy site, that’s for sure.”

“Take it easy,” I say soothingly. “If I had someone inventing that stuff, don’t you think I’d get him to make it a little more believable? And to spread it around the site? The fact is I’m as mystified as you guys.”

I even raise the subject with Mr. Mullinicks. Not that I’m a crybaby, but the Internet can be a wild and woolly place, so it’s probably a good idea for an expert to take a look at iluvmycat.usa.

He calls up my site on his desktop and browses through the ads, now more than a hundred. Finally, he says, “I don’t know much about cat ownership.”

“Me neither,” I confess. “But I’m pretty sure this isn’t it. Could it be some kind of Internet pattern, you know, something you’ve seen before?”

“Oh, I’ve seen it before,” he assures me.

“Really?”

He nods. “It’s called ‘your problem.’”

“But—”

“It’s definitely your problem, because if it was somebody else’s, it wouldn’t be on your Web site.”

“But I was kind of hoping—”

He cuts me off. “Vince, let me give you a little friendly advice. You’re getting hits—that’s all that matters. What do you care if they don’t make any sense? The e-business economy isn’t about sense; it’s about traffic. Don’t argue with success. A week ago your site was a wasteland.”

I make it sound as if the whole school is obsessed with iluvmycat.usa. The truth is, outside of New Media, no one else has a clue. It’s a typical October. The weather cools down. Clothing gets less revealing, much to Alex’s dismay. I initiate the annual discarding of notices home advising my parents about Open House. Freshman year, Mom volunteered for the refreshments committee and baked so many cookies that Dad had to arrange for a union truck to come from New Jersey to deliver them.

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