Someday I'll Find Me by Carla Lane

Author:Carla Lane
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781911042600
Publisher: Pavilion Books
Published: 2016-06-03T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 21

ACCOLADES

I arrived back in London from Los Angeles one late afternoon and was met by ‘Him’. I wanted to run to him and consume him but I knew it would frighten him to death.

‘Did you have a good time?’

‘Yes, well sort of, it’s all too loud for me, too fast.’

I sat in the front seat of his car and before he started the engine he looked at me and smiled. I phoned Marna and Len and told them that I had arrived and that we were going for a meal and that I would see them soon. We drove straight to his flat.

All was well at Zoffany House. Marna and Len as usual had kept everything in order, including all the animals residing there. Having picked up each cat and given them a kiss, which being cats none of them enjoyed, a little cuddle of the guinea pig and the rabbit, and Bell my faithful pigeon and a rough and tumble with Egor, it was time to go and see Helicopter. This was a little thrush that I had picked up two years before in the garden. He was totally crippled and could not walk properly but bounced up and down, up and down. For some reason, it never seemed to bother him. I nursed him for many days but he never regained his ability to walk properly like a bird. I truly loved the devotion of this little bird and after greeting all the larger animals, I rushed to the aviary to see him. I took with me some grapes, his favourite thing and the moment he saw me he bounced and bounced towards me. I picked him up, cuddled him, put him down and he was eating his grape as I left the aviary, and then as I neared the door I felt something beneath my foot. He had followed me and now he was lifeless on the floor. It was an agonising moment. I took him into another room, closed the door and found myself weeping, not just ordinary weeping but huge desperate sobs. This little bird had shown more concern, more love and more celebration of that love than any human being I had known and now he was gone and I had killed him. It haunted me for weeks and months and I still think of him – Helicopter, my crazy little thrush, as I called him.

Eric had been living away from Claremont for some time and the family had settled into a more peaceful atmosphere, instead of having to listen to the eternal drama of our parting. Nevertheless, guilt visited me again. I began to feel rather useless to everybody. My family had been getting on with their marriages, births, ups and downs, and I had become so tangled up in my own affairs that I had allowed the values of family life to slip by. I think they had all guessed about my relationship with ‘Him’, but I thought that it was now time for them to actually meet him.

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