Single Dad Burning Up by Cathryn Fox

Author:Cathryn Fox
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cathryn Fox

10

Gemma

The sound of children playing pulls me awake, and I reach across the bed, happy to find Callan beside me. I roll to face him as his chest rises and falls with his easy breathing. My heart squeezes in my too-tight chest and I swallow against a dry throat. He is such a good guy, the best guy I know, and it hurts to think he plans to spend the rest of his life alone.

He opens one eye, and then the other, and a smile splits his lips when he finds me up on my elbow staring at him. “Hey,” he says his voice sleepy and groggy. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” I say, and lightly trace his nipple. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Of course you woke me. I could feel you lying there staring at me like some sort of creeper.” I laugh at that and he quivers and grabs my hand to stop my exploration of his nipple. “That tickles,” he says.

I laugh. “Now you know how I feel.”

“Oh, are you saying you don’t like it when I do this?” He reaches out to circle my nipple.

“Not exactly.” I exhale a satisfied sigh, my body warm and so satiated, I’m not sure I ever want to leave the comfort of my bed.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

I stretch out. “Glorious, you?”

For a brief second, something that looks like pain and guilt flashes in his blue eyes before he blinks it away. “I’m good,” he says, but his voice lacks conviction. I let my mind drift to last night, and all the other times his deep sadness penetrated my skin and wrapped around my heart. He misses his wife, and that’s totally understandable, but every intuition in me tells me there is more going on with him. I give that more thought, and that’s when it hits me. He feels responsible somehow for his wife’s death.

“Callan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?” I fluff my pillow and lay on it sideways. He does the same.

“Sure.”

“How come you don’t want to ever have a relationship again? Don’t you think Zoe would want you to be happy?”

He rolls to his back, rests his arm on his forehead and stares at the ceiling. My entire body tightens. I don’t want to hurt him anymore than he’s already hurting, or for him to think he’s doing his daughter an injustice by avoiding relationships, but I hate to see him spend his life alone—thinking he’s somehow to blame.

“There are things you just don’t know, Gemma.”

“I understand that. As your friend, I’m here to talk to if you want. If you don’t want to talk, that’s okay too. I just want you to know I’m here for you. No judgement.”

He goes quiet for a long time, and the sound of the kids playing in the yard fills the silence inside the room. I lay there, not wanting to move or breathe, and when he finally breaks the quiet, my heart jumps into my throat.

“I couldn’t save her.

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