Saving Maddie by Varian Johnson

Author:Varian Johnson [Johnson, Varian]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-375-89592-0
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Published: 2010-04-01T18:30:00+00:00

chapter 10

“Thanks,” I said when we had made it safely to the car.

“I assume that was Jenn, with the way y’all were carrying on,” Madeline said. “Her boyfriend was over there with me, staring you down the entire time.”

“Jenn said she loves him.” I put the key into the ignition but didn’t start the car. “She said it’s okay to have sex with someone if you love them.”

Madeline watched me, no doubt waiting for me to continue, but I was too wrapped up in my own throughts to speak. If Jenn had wanted to sleep with me, did that mean that she had loved me, too? And had I loved her?

When Jenn and I were dating, I never once uttered the L word, and neither did she. I liked her a lot, and was sure one day I would fall in love with her. But no, I honestly didn’t know if I could say that I loved her.

However, that didn’t mean she hadn’t loved me.

“Maybe she does love him,” Madeline said. “Or maybe she just wanted to have sex, and that’s how she justified it.”

I didn’t believe that. I didn’t want to believe that. Jenn shouldn’t have been having sex, but it seemed…better if she was sleeping with someone she loved.

“I guess it’s not impossible, the idea of her falling in love so quickly,” I said. “Stranger things have happened.”

“Well I think it’s mighty convenient that—” She stopped, and the frown on her face faded away. “You know, it’s not important what I think. You’re happy and she’s happy, and that’s all that really matters.” Madeline reached over and started the car, and a blast of hot air jetted out of the vents. “You are happy, right?” she asked.

I laughed, trying to lighten things up. “Yeah, I’m happy. Especially since I didn’t get beat down by Jenn’s boyfriend.”

“Once Rodney started toward y’all, I figured it might be a good time for us to make our grand exit.” She grinned. “Good guys tend not to be the best fighters.”

My arms jerked a little as I pulled away from the curb. “I wish people would stop saying things like that. There’s more to me than being just a good guy.”

Madeline’s bright brown eyes drilled through me. “That really bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“Sometimes I don’t think anybody understands me.” I focused on the road and tried to ignore her gaze. “I don’t think anyone really understands how it feels to be a preacher’s kid.”

“I understand.”

I knew Madeline was being sincere, but I wasn’t in the mood to discuss how pathetic my life was. “Sorry for pulling you away from the party. You looked like you were having a good time.”

“It’s okay. After a while, all the parties are the same. Same dumb guys saying the same stupid things. If anything, I wish I had taken Hershel up on his offer for that beer.” She settled into her seat and pulled her purse from the glove compartment. “Did you enjoy the party?”

I thought back to how comfortable everyone else had looked.

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