Savage Saints MC Series (Complete Box Set) by Hazel Parker

Author:Hazel Parker [Parker, Hazel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-06-21T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12: Megan

Perhaps our kiss had been something of a long time coming.

Perhaps this moment had been all but inevitable, so long as one of us didn’t say or do something egregiously bad.

But in the moment just before the kiss, in the moment just before I closed my eyes and let him press his lips against me, I realized how nothing about this had felt inevitable.

It had been over a dozen years since I had even kissed someone. I wasn’t kidding when I told Burke that I had shut myself out from the world for fear of getting hurt and became the most stereotypical businesswoman possible—someone so focused on her work that she didn’t have time to find love. I had thought that I was making a name for myself and proving everyone who had doubted me wrong.

And maybe I had. But what good did it get me? If I saw those elementary and middle school bullies who said I was no good, or, if I saw Blake now, what would happen? Sure, for a few minutes, they might be jealous that I had gotten to where I had. But by the next day, they would have moved on with their lives. They would sometimes mention me as “the one they never thought would get as far as she did” but it wouldn’t affect their lives in any way. I wasn’t in competition with anyone for the best life or the best marketing role, at least not with anyone who had tormented me.

It was time to drop that and recognize the truth. Maybe in my twenties, I could have pushed away the desire for love. Maybe even in my early thirties, I could have done that.

Now, though? I couldn’t. And perhaps, then, it was only appropriate that the person who most touched me was someone who had experienced something similar.

What Burke didn’t realize at first was that when he told me these things, it made me understand him more and appreciate him more. He wasn’t gruff and silent because he was an asshole; he was that way because of some serious tragedies. I wondered what he would have been like before Jess had died; was he the cheerful guy he had said he was? Or was that only relative to what he was now: someone largely shut out and distant from the world?

Would I have liked Burke that way? Maybe, but a large part of why I liked Burke was because he understood my pain, my story. If he was still that happy, cheerful guy, could he relate to me? Or would he just be like one of the other hundreds of men who approached with a smile and charm but found they could get no further than a courtesy, “business only” dinner?

It didn’t matter now, because romantic hypotheticals weren’t like business hypotheticals. I couldn’t split test Burke, the stone-cold sergeant-in-arms, and Burke, the jokester. And I wouldn’t have wanted to, anyway.

Some things, especially things in the matter of love, hope, and romance, needed just to be taken as they were.

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