Project ELE by Rebecca Gober & Courtney Nuckels

Author:Rebecca Gober & Courtney Nuckels [Gober &, Rebecca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: CTP Publishing

Following his instructions, I lock the door behind him. I lean against it for a few seconds, replaying this evening over again in my head. When my fingers reach up to find my lips swollen with the memory of him, I shake my head and exhale deeply.

“You’re not going to be that girl, Austin.” I tell myself. No pining over a man, no ridiculous insta-love, no, no, nope. I vow to put Chance out of my mind for at least the evening. I’m actually successful in doing so for a while. I take a soothing hot shower, and put on my favorite thread worn pajama’s. I even grab a cup of hot tea and purposefully avoid looking at the place where we had our first kiss.

I manage to keep my mind preoccupied until I slip under the covers for the night. Sleep evades me as my brain starts replaying tonight over and over again. I try to focus on his confession; the fact that he’s a Shield. He’s more than off limits. He’s kryptonite. But even with that knowledge, I keep looping back to that kiss.

Everything about this guy goes against the grain of my life. My life has been basically about surviving. My goal to get the Ghosting procedure done is about ensuring my continued survival. Yet, Chance threatens my safety by just being who he was born to be. All I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve saved up to be able to afford, is the ability to never feel anything again. Yet, the thought of never feeling alive like I felt tonight with Chance, tears at every corner of my soul.

This man has single handedly turned my world upside down. I feel when I'm with him. For once in my life, I feel what it’s like to be myself when I'm with him. I don't feel anyone else, or anything else. They don't exist. He shields me from it all.

Before I finally slip off to sleep a realization comes to mind. My mother was a shield! Puzzle pieces begin floating into place. I wonder if that’s why I never manifested when she was alive. Perhaps her gift was strong enough to protect me without physical contact. It makes sense now, about how there were bad people trying to find her. Why we were always on the run. Why she was hunted. The only question now is do I want to be like my father? I wish I could ask him if it was worth it. Running in fear with my mother, never being safe. Giving up any sense of normalcy for a life of uncertainty. Was it worth it?

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