Polished by Bianca Sommerland

Author:Bianca Sommerland [Sommerland, Bianca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bianca Sommerland
Published: 2018-09-26T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

A week, then two, went by and my doubts started to fade. Maybe Xavier had actually been listening. Maybe he believed me when I said I didn’t want to hurt Luther. Maybe I did have some power.

I still saw Luther every morning, but he never crossed the lines Xavier had set. We discussed the fashion show. My insecurity when those with more experience came to me for advice because they thought Xavier trusted my opinion. My fear of my tie not being straight enough when I pulled on my jacket and went to meetings with Xavier and important people.

Every day began and ended with Luther trying to help me. But he never got too close. Never looked at me too long. I’d become nothing but an employee. Maybe a friend he kept at arm’s length. He praised me for helping Xavier. Told me I was doing better than he’d ever imagined.

But we were little more than neighbors sharing the same space. He didn’t touch me. Didn’t watch me.

My job was all that mattered.

Exactly what I’d wanted.

Until I missed the attention. The touches. The mark he’d left on my neck which had faded. I spent most nights going over files alone in his office. Xavier never came to speak to me. And neither did Luther.

After the first week of making sure I still wore my suit when walking around the house, I brought the latest stack of files to Luther’s office in my pajama pants, finished going over them, then grabbed a book. I needed to feel something, anything, so I grabbed the scariest book I could find. One about a killer who’d gone after gay men. It was a true story.

I ignored the tears that spilled when I started picturing my father every time the killer found a man. Got him to confess he was gay, promising he wouldn’t judge.

The same lie my father had told me before he’d died. He’d been preparing to rob a bank with my mother. I was eight. In school still, doing well because bad grades meant bringing too much attention to my parents.

One of my teachers was gay and he came out at school. The staff supported him. Most of the students did too. I talked to him and told him I felt like him. My parents always put on such a good show when they went to meetings he said I was lucky. I shouldn’t be afraid.

My father got everyone to come to the living room. Told me we were family. There were no secrets between us. When I told him, he didn’t react. He looked at my brothers.

“Trust is a weakness.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. My mother looked at me, whispered a word I couldn’t make out.

Maybe she’d told me to run. That would’ve made sense. Because after they left, my brothers almost killed me.

They left me alone when I said I’d been lying. I was scared of girls, that was all. When were Mommy and Daddy coming home?

They never came home.

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