One or Two Things I Learned About Love by Dyan Sheldon

Author:Dyan Sheldon [Sheldon, Dyan]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781406340839
Publisher: Walker Books Ltd.
Published: 2012-05-03T04:00:00+00:00

I asked Ely if one of his very best friends was a girl he’d known for ever but he secretly had a crush on her would he spend, say, eleven years playing, say, chess with her father just so he could be around her? Ely said wouldn’t it make more sense to play chess with her?

Connor called me on his lunch break to say that the guys had decided not to play softball tonight because even though it’d stopped raining the ground was pretty muddy. So they were going to shoot some baskets instead. I asked if he was still picking me up from work. He said he’d been thinking it over and decided it’d be better if I didn’t hang out with him and his friends. Not unless there were some other girls along. I had to turn my back on Ely (I could tell from the way his smile looked like it’d been painted on that his big ears were flapping in the breeze even though he was waiting on a customer) and move away from the table. I asked if we were talking about Milt again. He said no. He’s totally cool with the Milt thing. And anyway Milt and Salome got back together. Connor just doesn’t like the way his friends look at me. I didn’t know they looked at me at all. I figured if I passed out at the table they’d all climb over me when it was time to go. Connor said, “What about that crack Stu made?” I didn’t know what he was talking about. He said, “About getting you a T-shirt and making you our mascot.” I said, “You mean because it was sexist and patronizing?” He said no, it meant he wanted me to wear something that accentuated my breasts. I would’ve laughed – if I wanted something to accentuate my breasts, I’d pick balloons – but I could tell from his voice that he was like 200% serious. So I said that was fine by me not to go and told him to have a good time.

Went bowling with Nomi, Sara, Cristina and Maggie. They all said how excellent it was to hang out with Connor at last. Maggie thought he was sweet. Cristina thought he was nice. Sara said he really seems to like me a lot. Nomi said she didn’t expect him to have such a good sense of humour. I couldn’t understand why she’d think that. Didn’t I say he’s very funny? She said yeah, but she got the impression that he’s pretty intense. I said I didn’t know where she got that from. She said it must’ve been from her spirit guide. Her spirit guide talks about Connor all the time. Then they wanted to know if we’d be coming next week. I said I didn’t think so. Nomi wanted to know why not. I said oh, you know… She said she thought asking questions was supposed to be a way of filling in gaps in your knowledge.

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