On Dialogue by On Dialogue (Routledge 2004)

Author:On Dialogue (Routledge, 2004)
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 1098947
Publisher: Taylor and Francis

LIMITED DIALOGUE

Sometimes people feel a sense of dialogue within their families. But a family is generally a hierarchy, organized on the principle of authority which is contrary to dialogue. The family is a very authoritative structure, based on obligation, and that sort of thing. It has its value, but it is a structure within which it might be difficult to get dialogue going. It would be good if you could – perhaps that could happen in some families. In general it is difficult, though, because there is no place in the dialogue for the principle of authority and hierarchy. We want to be free of hierarchy and authority as we move. You must have some authority to “run” things; that’s why we say that if you have a “purpose,” then you are bound to bring in some authority somewhere. But in dialogue, insofar as we have no purpose and no agenda and we don’t have to do anything, we don’t really need to have an authority or a hierarchy. Rather, we need a place where there is no authority, no hierarchy, where there is no special purpose – sort of an empty place, where we can let anything be talked about.

As we said, you can also have a dialogue in a more limited way – perhaps with a purpose or a goal in mind. It would be best to accept the principle of letting it be open, because when you limit it, you are accepting assumptions on the basis of which you limit it – assumptions that may actually be getting in the way of free communication. So you are not looking at those assumptions.

However, if people are not ready to be completely open in their communication, they should do what they can. I know some university professors who are interested in applying the principles of dialogue to corporate problems. One of them recently had a meeting with the executive officers of a corporation that makes office furniture. They wanted to have this sort of meeting, because they knew that they were not functioning efficiently and that they couldn’t agree. The higher officers had all sorts of assumptions that blocked everything. So they asked him to come in. He started a dialogue which they found very interesting, and now they want to have a whole series of them.

Naturally, that sort of dialogue will be limited – the people involved do have a definite purpose, which is limiting – but even so, it has considerable value. The principle is at least to get people to come to know each other’s assumptions, so they can listen to their assumptions and know what they are. Very often people get into problems where they don’t really know what the other person’s assumption is, and they react according to what they think it is. That person then gets very puzzled and wonders: what is he doing? He reacts, and it all gets very muddled. So it is valuable if they can at least get to realize each other’s assumptions.

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