Nicoli (Lucian & Lia Book 9) by Sydney Landon

Author:Sydney Landon [Landon, Sydney]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sydney Landon
Published: 2020-06-07T18:30:00+00:00

Minka

Nina and I sit at the bar in the kitchen sipping coffee. We figured the guys would be able to talk more freely without an audience. And truthfully, I was glad to have some space. “How’d it go?” Nina asks as she studies my face.

“Better than I expected—or deserve,” I say as I add more creamer to my cup. “He was so calm about everything. Anger, I could have dealt with. Even though he said he was pissed initially, there really wasn’t any of that when we talked. He understands, but—God, Ni, he’s hurt.”

“I know he is,” she says softly. “I felt much the same way when I found out. A part of me knew why it was necessary. That you were bound to that secrecy when you took the job. Yet, it was still hard to discover that the person I thought I knew everything about had this whole other life . . . and I had no clue.”

Is there anyone I haven’t hurt? Her hand is resting on her cup, a few inches away, and I place mine over it. “For the most part, I’ve loved being in the ATF. Growing up mafia, I felt like a criminal—even as a child. I think that’s a big reason that I signed on. It gave me a way to do good. To balance the scales that were tipped so heavily in the other direction. It was supposed to be my redemption. But the cost has gotten too high. I would have never chosen that path had I known how much damage it would cause. Not only to you and Nic, but to Marco as well.” Tears glisten on her cheeks as I add, “Malone is right; my heart isn’t in it anymore.”

“You’re a very empathetic person, Min, so I know how much the suffering of others guts you. But I’m good now, and Nic will be as well. Caring for someone opens you up to amazing things, but it also makes you vulnerable. You know it’s love, though, when you can look beyond the hurt and put yourself in their position. That’s what makes true forgiveness possible. If you can’t do that, then you haven’t given your heart.” She squeezes my fingers before adding, “I forgave you before I even knew the full story. Because I know the real you. You might have been born mafia, but it doesn’t define your soul. I’ve seen your struggle to step out of the wide shadow the Gavinos cast and into a world of your own choosing. And I think the ATF gave you a way to do that. I knew something changed for you back then. You were still brash and bold but in a different way.”

“Part of the training.” I shrug. “Plus, Malone’s constant reminder that losing focus can costs lives.”

“Yes, Marco has said something sim—”

“I slept with him.” Shit. Why did I say that? Fuck.

Her eyes widen as she attempts to make sense of my words. She glances toward the doorway, then back at me.

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