Never Look Back by Alison Gaylin

Author:Alison Gaylin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2019-05-09T16:00:00+00:00

Nineteen

Robin

“HOW LONG CAN she be like this?” Robin asked the nurse.

The nurse, whose name was Verity, didn’t say anything right away. They were in the ICU at St. Catherine’s, the two of them, watching Robin’s mother, pillows propped up behind her head, her chest rising and falling, the ventilator working away. Over the past few days, Robin had asked this question repeatedly of doctors, but every response had been both hasty and tentative. “It varies.” “There are many factors.” “I can’t predict the future.”

One doctor had offered up “Time will tell,” which had possibly been the most infuriating answer of all. Couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a noncliché.

Verity, though, took the question seriously. “I’ve seen people taken off the ventilator after more than a week and they’re just fine,” she said.

Robin looked at her. “That’s good.”

“But . . .”

“But.”

“Look, I’m not going to lie to you. Every hour she’s on that thing, the weaker she gets.”

Robin swallowed hard. “Have they talked about trying to wean her off it?”

“She’s on light sedatives, but from what I’ve heard, she hasn’t given them anything.” Verity looked at her. “She doesn’t react. Doesn’t move.”

“Maybe she would if they took her off the breathing tube,” Robin said.

Verity shook her head. “If they thought she’d survive it, they’d do it.”

Tears began to well in Robin’s eyes. She’d almost have preferred a cliché, but then again what had she expected? The woman’s name literally meant truth.

“Ms. Diamond.”

“Yeah?”

“You love your mom, don’t you?”

“Very much.”

“Before she got in here, you spent a lot of time with her?”

“She was . . . she is my best friend.”

“That’s good,” she said. “You’re lucky.”

Robin nodded.

“Have you told her everything you need to tell her? Because . . . you know . . . if you haven’t, I’m a firm believer that they hear you. A part of them hears you, even when they’re like this.”

Robin’s gaze stayed on her mother’s placid face. “I have told her everything,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure she’s done the same.”

Verity put a hand on her arm and gave it a quick squeeze—a gesture Robin might have found patronizing in the past. “Be with her,” the nurse said. “Hold her hand. Let her know you’ll be okay no matter what.”

“I don’t know that I will be okay . . .” Robin said. But Verity had already left the room.

Robin glanced at her watch. 10:00 A.M. On any other Monday at this time, she’d have been at a morning meeting at the Daily Culture office, listening to the reporters pitching ideas, taking notes as she thought about this week’s film column. Such a different world she used to live in four days ago.

She couldn’t remember whether or not she’d called in sick to work, couldn’t imagine herself ever returning. The thought of putting on something other than a T-shirt and yoga pants, of making up her face and getting on a train, of traveling that far from the hospital and talking and thinking about

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.