NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) by Kerri Williams

Author:Kerri Williams
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2013-08-13T04:00:00+00:00

9

Love’s turning point

Harper

‘I was never insane except upon occasion when my heart was touched.’

Edgar Allen Poe

My safety is the last thing on my mind as I hear Vaun’s warnings. I need to get out of there. Away from him. Away from his tragedy before I ruin him further.

My lungs drag in air that’s laced with … water. When did it begin to rain? I glance skyward, but my eyes won’t stop fluttering against the rain and tears. I fucking hate the tears! I’m so sick of crying! I liked it better when I didn’t cry in public, when I had some control. Now, I have none. I don’t want this life. I don’t want this life for me or Vaun.

I scream into the rain, into the sky, into the world that’s filled with so much pain. I scream until my throat burns of fire and ice all in one. I scream until Vaun grabs my shoulders and squashes me against his chest. Right there is where my screams disappear and my sobs begin. I fucking hate them too, but they have possession of me now. Like Vaun.

No! I push from him and thrust my hands into the drenched tangled mess of my hair and for only a splinter of a second do I think about how it will all be gone in the in a few weeks and then I’m back here ― standing in the rain, my heart’s breaking for a boy who’s searching for hope in my eyes. I have no hope. If I did, I would willingly give him everything he needed, but life isn’t like that.

“Blue,” he pleads, water falling from his lips. “Talk to me.”

I should have told him that first day. I should have pushed him away so he wouldn’t feel any more pain. But no, I had to have him and now I hurt him. Well, I won’t let him see another die. I won’t let him feel that desperation of loneliness after I’m taken.

So I back away from him, my chest shuddering against the sobs that want to break out, but I hold back because I’m taking control again. He can see it, my retraction from him, from us, and his eyes widen and he’s shaking his head while I nod mine. “We can’t do this,” I say. “You have faced so much pain and I’m going to bring you more.”

“What are you talking about?” He’s stepping closer, his arms out to touch me and I step even further away, the truck is close and I’m mindful of being trapped. We are both soaked through, I can see right through his tee and, he mine, but we don’t care. He stops closing in on me and I think he’s worried I’ll run. He’s right. There might be miles between here and home, but I’ll run from him if I have to.

“You have so much heartache, Vaun. I can’t stand any more. My heart isn’t strong enough and neither is yours.”

“Mine will always sustain us.

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