Monkey Business by Kathryn Ledson

Author:Kathryn Ledson
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781742537702
Publisher: Penguin Group Australia
Published: 2013-11-21T05:00:00+00:00

Kitty had brought me a clingy, revealing leopard-print dress that sat just under my bum and gave me a lot of cleavage. I tried to pull the dress further down my legs but that just revealed more cleavage. I was glad I’d waxed everything last week, including my bikini line, which was almost on show as well.

‘Hmmm,’ said Kitty, standing back and inspecting me. ‘You have a visible panty line.’

I looked over my shoulder at the mirror. ‘Yeah, visible below the dress. Kitty, I think this is a bit much.’

‘No, it is not. You will blend in in this, Erica Jewell. Believe me. But,’ she added, ‘you need to wear a G-string.’

‘Great,’ I muttered, inspecting my reflection. ‘Jack would love this outfit.’ Not.

Kitty was handing me some strappy black heels but stopped, stepped back and looked me up and down. ‘Yes, I think Jack would certainly love this outfit.’

I scoffed and she gave me the shoes. I put them on. She might have a tiny frame, but Kitty had huge hoofs. The shoes were way too big. I felt like a little kid in Mum’s high heels.

‘I don’t think I can wear these.’

‘Do not worry. When we get there, you can find somewhere to sit, or take them off. Let us go.’

I picked up my bag and we made our way downstairs, me shuffling to keep the shoes from slipping off. I eyed Kitty’s snug, knee-high stiletto boots, thinking they looked much more comfortable. On the stairs, she said, ‘We will have to find someone to take us to the party.’

I stopped. ‘You mean, you don’t have a car?’

‘Oh, no. I do not drive. We will hitchhike, probably.’ She continued on down the stairs but I stayed where I was.

‘I don’t think hitchhiking’s a good idea, Kitty. Isn’t it dangerous?’

She waved her hand in the air. ‘No, it is not. Unfortunately.’

‘Bloody hell.’ I stumbled after her. ‘Hold on. Let me just ask in the bar.’

In the Bum Crack Bar every head swivelled to stare at us. Phil Collins was back on his stool. I sat next to him. His right eye regarded me with fear and suspicion. Poor Phil.

‘Um, Phil, do you have a car?’

He grunted. ‘Got me ute.’

‘Could you drive us to Samson’s party? I’m going to see if I can find out anything about Jack.’ Imagine if I arrived and Jack was there with Rupert Berringer and some blonde, laughing and having a good time.

Phil shook his head briefly but firmly.

‘Okay. Well, see you later.’ I stood, taking in the other staring locals. ‘Anyone driving to the mountains?’ In unison they all looked away.

On the street, Kitty pulled her Catwoman mask into place and stood with one foot on the kerb, the other on the road. Just like a hooker. She smiled and waved at the passing cars. They honked their horns. I hid in the shadows. For the first time since I’d arrived, I wished Bruce Willis would show up. Eventually a truck stopped. There were two men inside.

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